


Alpha Android

by KatyRebel413



Series: Guardians and God Tiers [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Addiction, Aged-Up Porrim, Android Auto-Responder | Lil Hal, Anxiety, Blood and Injury, Bullying, Drowning, Everyone is protective of Kankri, Flashbacks, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Lil Hal is a child, Mental Link, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Slavery, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Cronus, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Signless is a parent, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Trans Dave Strider, Victim Blaming, Violence, crosspost from wattpad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:14:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyRebel413/pseuds/KatyRebel413
Summary: Sequel to "My Child".After escaping Alternia, Signless and company meet their Beforan alternates. In another timeline, Dirk must come to terms with his own flaws in order to help his new companion. What secrets will Signless discover about his alternate's past? Will Dirk be able to push past his own shitty personality? Read and find out.
Relationships: Cronus Ampora/Kankri Vantas, Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Dirk Strider/Equius Zahhak, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Gamzee Makara & Karkat Vantas, The Psiioniic | The Helmsman/The Signless | The Sufferer
Series: Guardians and God Tiers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000971
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Waking Up

**_~On LOTAK~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

I hear screaming over the music I was blasting. Turning the music down, I make my way from my workroom to Hal’s room. By the time I reach my little android’s room, the screaming has stopped. Knocking on the door, I say, “Hal? You okay, kid?” When there’s no answer, I open the door just a little. I don’t see him in his bed, where he should have been napping. “Hal?” I ask again.

I see movement out of the corner of my eye. A blur of red light bolting from behind the bed, across the room, and into the vent. I curse under my breath as I rush to try and catch him before he gets lost in the air vents. Again. This happened earlier this week. By the time I finally found him that time, he was curled up in a ball and crying. Times like this, when he gets so scared that everything startles him, are when I regret programming him with emotions.

My phone rings, pulling me from my thoughts. “Hey, I’m kinda busy,” I immediately say when I put the phone to my ear.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Jake says, sounding a bit disappointed. “Do you mind my asking what’s going on?”

I sigh. “Hal had another nightmare. He’s in the vents again.”

“He’s an android, Dirk. How on Earth does he have nightmares?”

I stick my head in the air vent a little way down the hall as I respond, “I programmed him to learn and have emotions and an active imagination.” He’s not there so I continue down the hall to the next opening in the vent. “Combine that and you get an android with dreams. Some of those dreams are bound to be a bit scary. The fact that he’s the emotional equivalent of a _five-year-old_ only makes it worse when he has bad dreams.”

I hear whimpering coming from the living room as Jake says, “You never did explain why you programmed him like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like a child. Why exactly did you program him to be like a child?”

I shrug, almost to the living room, “It just felt right, okay. I’ll come by your planet later.” I don’t wait for a response before hanging up. “Hal?” I call as I flip on the light in the living room.

“GO AWAY!” he shouts, fear in his voice, from where he’s curled up in the corner with a kitchen knife.

“Hal, kid, it’s me,” I calmly say, putting my hands up. He just looks at me skeptically. “Can you put the knife down?” He shakes his head. “Why not?”

With synthetic tears in his glowing red eyes, he stutters, “I-I don’t wa-wanna die. P-please don’t ki-kill me, daddy.”

Normally I like hearing him call me that, but right now he’s worrying me. “Is that what you have nightmares about?” He nods his head, dropping the knife in favor of wiping the tears from his eyes. “Hal, I’m not going to hurt you,” I say as I pick him up and cradle him in my arms. “You know that, right?” He doesn’t say anything, just snuggles closer to me.

I sigh as I carry him back to his room. I tuck him in and sit with him until he falls asleep again. He’s been having these nightmares ever since we entered our session. I’ll have to talk to him about it later, when he’s awake and calmed down a bit. And why did he think I was going to kill him? That’s another thing I need to talk to him about.

I wake up to Lady Antebellum’s “Bartender” playing on my phone. Hitting answer and putting the call on speaker, I say, “Hey, Rox. You’re on speaker and the kid’s asleep. What’s up?”

“Finally you pick up!” she practically shouts.

I flinch and quickly check to make sure Hal’s still asleep before leaving the room. Careful to be as quiet as possible, I close the door hissing, “What part of ‘the kid’s asleep’ did you not fucking understand?!”

“Oops, sorry,” she whispers. “How is he, by the way? Jake said that you said lil’ Hal’s been having nightmares. He’s also pissed you’ve been ghosting him for the last few hours.”

“Wait, hours?” I ask, finally looking at a clock. I had put Hal back down to finish his nap at around two. Now it’s almost seven. I look down to my phone. Twenty missed calls from Jake, ten from Jane, and this call from Roxy. “Shit. I must’ve fallen asleep. I’ll go see him when Hal wakes up. What were you calling about?”

“Oh yeah. Janey asked me to invite you and Hal to her place. Also, the clown got to your kernelsprite.”

“What?”

“Yeah, he put your AR and some of that weird dark blue potion in it. Looks like a Troll and Fefeta looked kinda excited to see him.”

I immediately throw on my gas mask and run out the door. I’m greeted by a red and white ghost-like troll, flexing like there’s no tomorrow. I feel the color drain from my face when he practically begs me to touch his muscles. I know that Hal’s an android, but he can still learn and he’s still basically my kid. This thing is NOT something I want anywhere near him.

I immediately run back inside, remove my mask, and say, “Roxy, how the fuck did this happen?” The only thing on the other end of the call is laughter. “Damn it, Roxy! This isn’t funny! I can’t have that _thing_ anywhere near Hal,” I whisper yell.

“Oh, he’s not that bad,” she laughs.

“Not that bad? He’s flexing like there’s no tomorrow and begging me to touch his muscles! You know Hal’s basically five. Would you want something like that near a five-year-old, Rox?”

“No?”

“Right!” I take a deep calming breath before asking, “Do you know it’s name? I didn’t stick around long enough to ask.”

“I didn’t catch it either, but Fefeta says he’s called Arquius.”

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

I wake up in a dark room, on a soft bed, with two warm bodies on either side of me. I look to my right and see Psiioniic, sound asleep, with his head rested on the pillow next to mine. I smile and look to my left. There, I find Karkat curled up against my side. He, too, is sound asleep, with his head rested on my shoulder. I look around the room and spot Sollux passed out with his head rested on a small desk in the corner, a red and blue husktop open in front of him. The screen is dark aside from several lines of green text that I can’t read from here.

“Signless?” Equius whispers. I turn my head to see him rise from the chair he had been sleeping in in the corner of the room. “How are you feeling?” he asks as he makes his way over to me.

“Sore,” I whisper back, trying my best not to wake the other three in the room. I’d sit up but my sleeping mate and descendant have me pinned. “What happened? I thought I got shot.”

He looks sad. “You were,” he says quietly, picking up a small, clear jar from the nightstand. In the jar is a metallic blue shard and a small amount of mutant red blood. “When the arrow hit your rib, this piece broke off. It tore through your lung and got stuck behind it. Feferi was able to heal the tear in your lung and most of your other injuries.” He sets the jar back on the small table. “She was unable to heal the burns on your wrists, the incision on your side, and the lacerations on your back.”

I look at him, completely confused, asking, “What incision?”

He seems to find fiddling with the hem of his shirt very interesting as he explains, “We couldn’t remove the metal without surgery. Feferi and Rose kept you alive and sedated while I located and removed the shard.”

He looks almost ashamed as he briefly glances up to me. “Equius,” I calmly whisper.

“Are you mad at me?” he asks.

“What?” I say a little louder than I intended. “Equius, no. I’m not mad at you, my child.” He looks back up to me, surprise in his eyes. “You saved me. Why would I be mad at you for that?”

“He’s paranoid as all hell,” Karkat mumbles, his bright red eyes fluttering open. He sits up, freeing my almost numb left arm, and turns his attention to Sollux. “Sol, wake up.” No response. “Bro, I will throw perfectly generic object at you.” He gets a quiet snore in response.

Karkat growls in annoyance. He holds his hand up and a green cube drops into his palm. Putting as much force as he can into the throw, he chucks the small object at Psii’s descendant. “FUCK!” Sollux shouts when the cube hits his shoulder. Unintentionally, he wakes Psii, whom instinctively shoots a bolt of psionic energy at the wall near Sollux’s head. “FUCK!” the young psionic shouts again, staring wide eyed at the singed spot on the wall, a few inches from him.

I ignore the pain, and Equius and Karkat telling me not to, as I sit up and pull Psii into my arms. “It’s okay, Psii. You’re okay,” I whisper. He calms slightly, but still searches the room for any threat.

After a moment, he turns his attention fully to me. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“I’m okay,” I reply, putting some emphasis behind my words. I’m already tired of people asking me if I’m okay.

There’s a knock on the door before Dolorosa and Disciple come in, followed closely by Nepeta and Aradia. Disciple squeals. Nepeta squeals. Seconds later, both of them tackle me in a hug. It hurts but I’m laughing anyways. My whole family’s here and _safe_.

“Guys,” Aradia says from the door, “Equius is too nice to say it, but all four of you are in the way. He needs to check that wound on Signless’ side.”

“And change the bandages,” Equius mumbles. Reluctantly, Disciple and Nepeta move off the bed, allowing me to sit back up. Disciple pulls up a chair and sits patiently, probably waiting to hug me again. Karkat refuses to move, so Nepeta takes him by the arm and drags him away. She says something about going to find Kanaya before she runs out the door, dragging a complaining Karkat along with her.

“You know I’m not moving, right” Psii says from his spot beside me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders protectively.

Equius sits on the edge of the bed and starts unwrapping the bandages around my chest, saying, “You don’t have to. As long as I have access to this injury, you’re fine right where you are.” Disciple flinches when the last of the bandages are pulled away.

“C-can’t you feel that?” she asks, a worried look in her eyes.

I glance down and am shocked to see a large cut with purple stitches a couple of inches above my grub scar. As he starts to spread a medicated ointment over the large wound, Equius speaks up, “It shouldn’t hurt very much, if at all. I gave you a very strong pain killer. It won’t wear off for another few hours. I’ll give you another dose before then, though. Really, the only pain I expect you to be feeling right now is from the burns on your wrists and a few pulled muscles in your back and shoulders.” He looks up at me through his bangs for a second before returning to his work. “Unfortunately, the only thing we have here that is theoretically strong enough to completely numb those injuries is toxic to Trolls.”

“It’s perfectly fine for Humans, though,” Sollux adds. “Which is why we don’t just throw it all out.”

As Equius begins to rebandage my injury, a rather annoying voice calls from the door, “Eeeeeeeequius. Hey neighbor, long time no see.” A cerulean blooded girl in a short white dress makes her way over like she owns the place and leans on Equius.

Not too sure of what to do, I just watch as Equius takes a deep breath and says, “Go away, Vriska.”

“I haven’t seen you in almost a full human year,” she whines, poking Equius’ cheek, “and you’re telling me to go away? That’s not cool, Equius. Not cool at all. I thought we were friends, seeing as there are only three of us blue bloods on this rock,” Equius freezes, looking as annoyed as I am, “and one of them is _teal_. I mean, that’s _practically_ green.”

He finishes with the bandages before turning towards Vriska and lightly shoving her away from him. “First of all, while blood color _really_ doesn’t matter, that teal blood you’re referring to is your sister. Have at least an ounce of respect for that fact. Second of all, DON’T touch me. You do not have my permission to touch me. I do not _want_ you to touch me. Don’t. _Touch_. Me. And lastly, we most certainly are NOT friends. When you killed Tavros, Gamzee went into rage mode!”

“That was pretty cool, wasn’t it?” she says, a sadistic smile on her face.

“I-it most certainly, w-was not,” he stutters, hands flickering and shaking. I lean over and hug him, silently assuring him that he’s okay.

Laughing, Vriska says, “’W-was’? What, do you have a stutter like that idiot Ampora now?”

“Leave Eri out of this!” Sollux snaps.

“And I thought you didn’t want anyone to touch you.”

“Signless is an exception, he’s my guardian.” She looks both angry and sad at hearing that. “And you’re part of the reason Nepeta and I got hurt in the first place! You killing Tavros sent Gamzee into rage mode.” He tilts his head up a little and lightly touches the scar on his neck. “This is just one of the scars he gave me when he was like that, before Aradia sent me to Signless.”

She laughs, “Yeah, I heard what happened to you. Aren’t you supposed to be the _stroooooooongest_ of us all?” She laughs again, moving closer to him. She rests an arm on his shoulder, twirling a lock of his hair around a finger on her other hand. “Why didn’t you fight back? Oh, I know. You wanted it. It’s in your blood to be dominated by someone higher than you.”

“You have GOT to be kidding me!” Dave snaps from the door. “Vriska, I swear to god, I will fucking stab you if you don’t stop victim shaming.” He pulls her away from Equius. “You know as well as the rest of us how powerful Gamzee is. Equius _couldn’t_ fight back.” He shoves her, hard, towards the door. “Now get out before I send you to the dark ages.” She runs, almost scared, out of the room.

A light thump draws everyone’s attention back to the spot where Equius has dropped to his knees. Dave gets to him before I can even move, dropping to his knees in front of him. “I-I couldn’t f-fight,” Equius whispers, arms wrapped tightly around himself. Once again ignoring my own pain, I slide off the bed and pull Equius into my arms. He flinches before realizing I’m the one holding him.

“Shh, my child,” I whisper, running my fingers through his hair.

“Hey, Equius,” Dave says, catching Equius’ attention. “You listen to her and she gets what she wants. She wins.” A cocky smile spreads across Dave’s face. “Don’t give her the satisfaction, okay. You want some advice?” Equius hesitates for a moment before nodding. “When she’s around, smile. No matter how much you want to cry or hide or whatever, don’t. Not until she’s gone. People like her are only ever going to hurt you. Everyone on this rock knows how strong you are, but she’s going to push you to your limit. Don’t let her find it. Can you do that?”


	2. Bot Fight

**_~On LOTAK~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

“C’mon Hal,” I call through the apartment, “Jane and Roxy are waiting for us.” No response. Making my way down the hall, I inform, “We’re going to be late. Again.” I hear a soft whimper and a crash just before I open his door. The sight that greets me is adorable and hilarious. Hal had gotten tangled in his shirt before falling over into a pile of stuffed animals and action figures. I can’t help the laughter that pours out of me as I lean on the doorframe for support.

“Don’t laugh!” he snaps, still trying to fix his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, trying really hard to stop laughing. Once I eventually succeed, I ask, “Are you stuck?”

“Yes.”

“You want some help?”

He looks away from me, a small pout on his face. “Yes.”

I laugh a little more as I help him get untangled from the dark blue shirt he had chosen. He likes wearing dark colors. When I had asked him about it, he told me that it makes his red markings stand out. “Okay, kid, arms up,” I instruct before pulling the shirt over his head and down his torso. He giggles when I scoop him up into my arms. “Ready to go?” I ask as I grab his backpack on the way through the apartment.

“Are we bringing Arquius with us?” he asks.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

“But _why_ not?”

I look down at him, hoping to find that he’s messing with me. Unfortunately, he’s not. He really wants Arquius to come with us. I have no idea why he would want to interact with that creep, but he wants to bring him along. I sigh as I stop in the middle of the living room. I sit Hal down on the couch and kneel in front of him. To show that I’m trying to be serious, I take off my shades before asking, “Why do you want him to come with us?”

Hal shrugs. “I thought it would be nice to take him to see Fefeta,” he says, sounding a little nervous. He probably thinks he’s in trouble. “Was I wrong? Is there a reason he’s not allowed to come with us?” He gasps, as if he just realized something, and a look of fear and panic flashes in his eyes. “Is he a bad guy?”

I stop him before he freaks himself out. “No, Hal. He’s not a bad guy. And you’re right, it would be the nice thing to do to take him to see his friend.” I rub the back of my neck, a nervous habit I’ve had for as long as I can remember. “It’s just that I’ve been getting weird vibes from him since he’s been here, and I don’t think I fully trust him to be around you.” Hal looks confused. “You don’t understand anything I just said, do you?”

He shakes his head. “Is there something wrong with Arquius?”

“Have you met him?” He nods. “Did he tell you to touch him?” He looks confused and shakes his head.

“Why would I do that?” a very dejected sounding Arquius inquires from behind me. Startled, I spin around, summoning my katana to my hand. Arquius looks genuinely upset at what I said; drooping ears, sad eyes, and all.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care,” I say evenly, venom in my tone. “What I do know is that if you so much as _look_ at my kid wrong, I will gut. You. Alive. Have I made myself very clear?” He nods. I captalog my katana, pick Hal back up, and motion for Arquius to follow me. “Come on. You weird the hell outta me, but Hal seems to think you’re okay.” He’s frozen in place when I look over my shoulder. “We’re going to meet up with everyone.” He looks confused. “You wanna go see Fefeta or not?” He perks up at the mention of his friend.

Finally following us, he mutters, “Nepeta.”

“Fefeta,” Hal corrects as we reach the window that will take us to LOCAH. I roll my eyes as I step through the portal from my apartment and into Jane’s living room.

**_~On LOCAH~_ **

“Jane,” I call, “we’re here!”

“We’re out on the patio,” she calls back. “Can you grab the blue frosting from the kitchen on your way out, please?”

“Gotcha, Janey,” I respond as I make my way to the kitchen, situating Hal on my hip as I go. A few cabinets later, and I call back, “Hey, Jane? Where is it?”

She looks confused and a bit flustered as she bursts through the door. Without even acknowledging us, she goes to the cabinet, next to the one I’m holding open, and retrieves a blue tin of frosting. When she spins around to snap at me, though, her face lights up. She ruffles Hal’s synthetic white hair, giggling when he pouts. “Come on guys,” she giggles, “everyone’s waiting outside. You guys are late again.”

“I-is Nepeta here?” Arquius nervously inquires.

“Fefeta,” Hal corrects.

Seconds later, we hear a small crash. Erisol had dropped a small cooler of ice and is staring at Arquius. The green and white sprite is just staring in disbelief and recognition at Arquius. “Equius?” he asks.

“Equius is here?” Fefeta calls from the door. The second she spots Arquius, she shoves Erisol out of the way and tackles Arquius, squealing, “EQUIHISS!” When Erisol finally shakes his shock, he too rushes to hug my sprite.

I lean over to ask Jane, “What’s going on?”

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Equius’ POV~_ **

I take off another bot’s head with a final well-placed roundhouse kick and turn to the next one running at me. It throws a punch. I drop to a crouching position and sweep its legs out from under it. It rolls and swings a low punch. I dodge again by spinning out of the way and slam my elbow into the base of its neck. As it goes down, I once again turn to face an oncoming bot. Only this time, it doesn’t reach me. I stand up a little straighter when my fighting bot is crushed like a tin can. I’m both shocked and angry.

“Mind letting me have a go?” Aradia inquires from the door.

I laugh a little. “I don’t mind, but the bots might not like being crushed every five seconds. With me they have a chance.”

She shakes her head as she makes her way over. “I don’t want to fight the bots,” she says. The next thing I know, I’m face down on the mat, my right arm twisted behind me and her knee pressed to the center of my back. “I wanna fight you.” I teleport out from under her, smiling as I finally notice what she’s wearing; dark red yoga pants and one of my shirts, tied up to show off her toned abs. “Like the view?” she jokes as she ties her hair up in a messy bun.

“Maybe,” I admit as we drop to a fighting stance.

She makes the first move, a feigned right hook that twists into a left kick. I drop to the mat and roll to my right, her left. When I spring back up, I’m behind her and use this small advantage to land a soft jab to her shoulder. She spins around to face me before I can land another hit, bringing a fist to my gut in the process. I may be pulling my punches, but she sure isn’t. Not that I’d expect her to. As she pulls her fist away, I grab her wrist. Her response is to swing a leg up and around, effectively putting her on my shoulders, pulling my arm with her, locking me in a very uncomfortable position. She leans back, pulling me off balance and down to the mat, tangled in her legs and my own arm. I slip out from between her thighs, twisting around as to not dislocate my shoulder, and stand, pulling her to her feet in the process.

We continue like this for almost an hour before she finally pins me. By now we’ve both got a few bruises and I have a split lip. I tap out when she straddles my stomach and leans over, holding my shoulders in place with her forearm. I could easily get out of this, but I’m tired and her smile is too beautiful to ruin by taking this small victory from her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still angry about the bot that she ruined. There’s no way I’ll be able to salvage anything from the crushed contraption, aside from maybe some wires, now. But seeing her smile almost makes up for it. Almost.

I’m pulled from my thoughts when she leans down and kisses me roughly. Every ounce of anger I felt about the destroyed bot is shoved to the back of my mind as I’m suddenly hyperaware of _her_. How close she is. The taste of her peppermint lip gloss. The scent of the cherry blossom perfume, that I got for her before we entered the session, that somehow entirely overpowers the scent of the sweat clinging to her flawless skin. The sting of her dull teeth biting my split lip. The small gasp she lets out when I bite back. The feel of her curly hair between my fingers after I pull off the tie holding it up.

A pointedly cleared throat and a rather annoyed, “You two have an audience,” breaks us apart in seconds. Aradia scrambles to her feet and takes a few quick steps back while I simply teleport to the other end of the room. I can still taste peppermint on my lips even after we part.

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

Sollux laughs at the glare Equius shoots at us. “Why can’t anyone on this fucking rock just get a fucking room?!” Karkat snaps. Sollux actually falls over, he’s laughing so hard. Karkat turns his attention to his laughing brother before he once again shouts, “You’re not exempt from that statement! You and Eridan won’t go somewhere else unless someone fucking tells you to!”

“And you’re any better?” Aradia retorts as she wipes indigo blood from her mouth.

“What are you talking about?” He crosses his arms over his chest, dawning an air of superiority. “I have yet to get so lost in my own little world with someone that I completely ignore common decency and the boundaries of others, unlike all you fuckwads!”

“Oh, so that little whine over the coms the other day was commonly decent,” Sollux teases.

“THAT WAS DAVE’S FAULT!” Karkat practically screeches.

I lean over to Psii and quietly asks, “Should we remind them that we’re here?”

“Don’t you dare,” he whispers back, trying not to laugh himself.

“Signless,” Equius calls before teleporting over to us. Then the questions start. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? You’re not in any pain?”

“I’m sure.” He’s about to ask another question before I stop him. “Equius, I’m fine. I promise. Feferi came by earlier and finished healing most of my injuries. I promise you, my child, I’m okay. Besides, I’m supposed to take care of you. Not the other way around.” That last bit I point out as I wipe the blood from his split lip. He flinches slightly at the area around the small wound being touched. “Maybe you should have that looked at,” I suggest.

He just blinks at me like he doesn’t know what’s going on. “You’re suggesting I see a healer about a split lip? An injury that will heal on its own in a day or two?” I nod. He blinks again, before looking over to Karkat. Then he looks over to Sollux, whom just busts out laughing again. He then fixes me with a skeptical look. “You’re joking, right? That’s a joke.”

“I’m being completely serious.”

Psiioniic’s barely contained laughter finally gets the best of him, and he too is on the floor.

“I don’t need to see a healer about something as small as a split lip!” Equius snaps, obviously offended that I’d even suggest such a thing.

“Oh, so you _don’t_ want me to be overly protective and, as I believe Dave said, go ‘full mother hen mode’ about every little scrape and bruise that somehow appears on you?” He shakes his head, still a bit surprised by my behavior. “Then don’t do that with me. I’m fine, my child. Believe me, if I wasn’t, you’d be the second to know and Psii would be losing his mind.”

“Anyways!” Sollux speaks up as he gets up off the floor, having finally stopped laughing. “We should get on with this tour before Equius follows Aradia’s example and explodes.” He earns a glare from his aforementioned brother. “This is the training room slash gym. Yes, it’s usually covered in bot parts. No, nobody except for Equius, and sometimes Aradia, actually uses it. All the gym equipment is on that side,” he points to a bunch of machines and weights by a mirrored wall. “Feel free to use this room whenever you want.”

“The rest of us usually just spar with the Dancestors in the dream bubbles,” Karkat says as he leads our, now slightly larger, group down the hall to a small platform, barely large enough to hold all of us. A small flash, and the oddest feeling of being torn apart and put back together, later and we appear in a large room. There are computer stations all along the walls and random piles of stuff around the room. “This is the computer room. Most of us hang out either here, the kitchen, or our own respiteblock.”

“Or our significant other’s respiteblock,” Sollux adds, earning a glare from my Descendant.

“Anyways, we haven’t really assigned anyone a respiteblock, other than you. We needed to put you somewhere other than Equius’ lab and you weren’t exactly conscious to claim a block on your own, like everyone else did. Any questions?” I raise my hand. “This isn’t a learning block. You don’t need to raise your hand to ask a fucking question. But, what the fuck ever.”

“What’s a ‘dancestor’?” I inquire. “I’ve never heard the term before.” Before he can answer, a bucket collides with his head and he goes down.

“DAVE!” He angrily shouts as he jumps up and kicks the bucket halfway across the room. “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!”

Said human laughs from his chosen computer station, where he has a small pyramid of upside-down buckets tucked under the desk. “C’mon, Kitkat. Why are you so angry?” he teases.

“’Why am I so angry’?!” Karkat mockingly repeats as he storms over to the blonde human. “Maybe because you threw a fucking _bucket_ at my HEAD! You’d be pissed too if I threw a human condom at your head!”

“No I wouldn’t. I’d assume you were,” he flicks Karkat’s horn, “horny.” Karkat just growls at Dave and slaps his hand away.

“Why are you always fucking like this?!” Karkat growls.

Dave stands, quickly kisses Karkat, and starts walking away. “Come by my room before we reach the next dream bubble and find out,” he calls over his shoulder.

“FUCK YOU, STRIDER!”

“You could never top me, Babe.” And with that, the deathly pale human steps on the platform and disappears, leaving behind a very red Karkat.

Shaking his head, Karkat turns his attention back to us, “What was your question, again?”

“What’s a ‘dancestor’?” I repeat, trying my best to ignore what I just witnessed.

“The version of you guys from the other main timeline. Any other questions?”

One of the computers dings, drawing everyone’s attention. It dings again before Sollux makes his way over to a station covered in papers, motherboards, and a bee plush. “Hey, KK,” he calls as he opens a chat window, “Kankri’s got a question for you.”

Growling, Karkat marches over to Sollux asking, “What the fuck does that asshat want?”

“Uh,” he scrolls through a wall of red text, “he wants to know when we’ll be reaching the dream bubble and how long we’ll be there.” The computer dings again before another message appears on the screen. “He says that Signless needs to learn how to fight.” He looks up to Karkat. “He’s not serious, right?” Silence. “Kankri can’t _actually_ expect him to fight.”

Equius, whom had rushed to read through the messages says, “Kankri knows he’s a pacifist, right? He’s not a fighter like us. I’ve only ever heard him threaten someone _once_ , and that was to defend me. A-and he’s only ever sparred with me when I asked, if you can count holding boxing pads as sparring.”

“I-I need to talk to Jade,” Karkat finally stutters.


	3. Gamzee

**_~On LOCAH~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

“Are you going to tell me what happened now?” I finally get to ask Jane. As much as Arquius creeps me out, it is a bit heartwarming to see how he, Fefeta, and Erisol are curled up off to the side. They’re catching up and laughing every now and then. I look over just in time to see Fefeta crawl into Arquius’ lap and curl up like a huge cat. Arquius smiles down at her, looking happier than I’ve ever seen him. “What’s their story?”

She looks up from the cake she had been decorating for the last few hours, according to Roxy. “What?”

I nod to the sprites with a lopsided smirk, “What’s the story there?”

“Oh,” she perks up a bit, “I don’t really understand it, but half of Fefeta is half of Arquius’ moirail. It’s like a best friend only closer, I guess. It’s a troll thing. The other half of Fefeta is half of Erisol’s moirail. The other half of Erisol is half of Arquius’ brother. They have another brother, too. Oh, what was his name?” She taps her chin contemplatively. After a moment of not knowing the name, she turns to the now pile of sprites and asks, “Erisol, Arquius, what’s your brother’s name again?”

Arquius looks confused before Erisol says, “Karkat. And Arquius was created from a part of Equius from a point before Signless adopted him.”

I stare at him in complete confusion. Before I can ask him to clarify, I get the strongest sense of _NO_ I’ve ever felt. I don’t know what’s off, but something doesn’t feel right. I look around doing a quick head count. Jane’s standing beside me. Roxy and Jake are over by the grill arguing about the best way to grill a burger. The sprites are in their cuddle pile off to the side.

“Hal,” I breath.

“What?” Jane inquires.

“Where’s Hal?” I’m starting to panic a bit when I can’t find him. Unlike the rest of us, he can’t fly. Jane’s house is on a hot air balloon. If he wanders off and falls, he’ll fall. I don’t even want to think about what might happen if he hits the ground at this height. He could break or get damaged. “Hal?” I call.

There’s no response. I go into the house and check every room, calling his name as I go. No response. Running outside, I call his name again. Soon enough, everyone else joins in. Even the sprites are looking for him.

“Found him,” Roxy calls from the roof on the other side of the house, near the chimney. “The clown’s got him,” she continues as Arquius, Jake, and I reach her. Sure enough, the clown is sitting by the chimney with Hal sound asleep in his lap.

**_~Arquius’ POV~_ **

Gamzee?

Gamzee’s HERE?!

I feel fear close its cold grip around my heart as the memories flash across my mind. I can’t move. I want to help, but I can’t _move_! His eyes are glowing purple, just like that night. I manage to look to my left and see Dirk. He looks so scared, but not for himself. He’s afraid for Hal, for his android child. I want to help him.

I look back to Gamzee as he stands. He throws Hal across the roof at us and Dirk rushes to catch him. I’m still frozen in place as Gamzee jumps off the roof.

How can he be here? This isn’t even our timeline. HOW IS HE HERE?!

I can’t escape him.

I’m torn from my thoughts when Dirk shoves me hard. “What the hell?! Why didn’t you go after him?” he snaps.

I’m shaking at this point and can feel tears start to flow down my cheeks. “I-I,” I try to apologize.

“You could’ve caught him!” he shouts again. This time his shove is hard enough that I fall over and hit the rough shingles, scraping the arm I land on bad enough to bleed. I try to get up but am halted by a katana pressed to my throat. “He had Hal. Why didn’t you go after him? You’re a sprite for fuck’s sake! You had a solid chance to CATCH HIM!”

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Dirk’s angry with me, but I just don’t know how to tell him that I was too scared to move.

I’m once again pulled from my thoughts, this time by two gentle sets of arms wrapped protectively around me.

“You have no Idea what Gamzee put him through,” Erisol snaps. He lets go of me and moves to put himself between me and Dirk. “You can’t expect him to go after that psycho!”

“And why the hell not?!”

Fefeta holds me protectively closer as she hisses, “Are you reely suggesting that he should’ve chased the bastard that raped him just because you say so?”

Dirk’s eyes go wide as he lets her words sink in. Now he’s at a loss for words. I turn and hide my face in Fefeta’s shoulder as she runs her fingers through my hair. I can’t look at him. I didn’t want him to know that. I didn’t want him to know about my past. I didn’t want him to think I was weak.

“I-I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“No. Don’t apologize,” Dirk orders. “You don’t get to be sorry for something you had no control over. _I’m_ sorry. I’m so sorry.” I glance over to him, confused, and find him on his knees beside me. “You’re my sprite. I should’ve known. I had no right to get mad at you like I did. I had no right to attack you. I’m sorry.” I once again don’t know what to say, so I just move to cling to him. He doesn’t push me away or tell me to get off. He just holds me and says, “How about, the next time that psycho clown shows up, you stay behind me. Okay?” I look up at him, confused. “I’ll protect you from him, okay?”

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

I’m starting to get more and more nervous the closer we get to the dream bubble. Equius was right, I’m not a fighter. I hate violence. I only learned to defend myself because Dolorosa insisted when I was little. Karkat’s off somewhere messaging one of the Humans. Equius went to his respiteblock. Sollux had taken Psiioniic on the rest of the tour. I have no idea where Dolorosa and Disciple are.

“That is a really bad habit, you know,” a feminine voice calls from beside me. Rose giggles at the surprised look on my face as she pulls a chair over. “Nail biting is a sign of anxiety, but it is also classified as self-destructive behavior. Is there anything you would like to talk about?” I hadn’t even realized I was biting my nails until she pointed it out.

“I-I’m okay,” I say, a little hesitant to discuss my issues with anyone, let alone a girl I only met a few days ago. In an attempt to change the subject, I say, “I’ve been told I have you to thank for my sutures being purple. I don’t mean to be rude, but why? Of all the colors, why _purple_?”

“Purple is my favorite color,” she informs, sitting up a little taller. “Also, on my planet, colors have meanings. And before you, like Kanaya, inform me that color had meaning on Alternia as well, let me clarify. Color was not always used to signify a social or political hierarchy. On Earth, color had a different meaning and often times more than one meaning. Purple is a color of power, wisdom, and dignity, just to name a few. Red is the color of blood and fire and is often associated with strength, passion, and determination.”

“Not all blood is red,” I inform.

She smiles as she summons a sewing needle to her hand. She pricks her finger and holds it up to show me the small bead of red blood that has oozed from the small wound. “All Humans bleed red. The shade, though, can be different. If blood is oxygenated, it will be bright red, like yours is all the time. If it’s not oxygenated, it will be dark red, like Aradia’s.” She wipes the blood from her finger off on the skirt of her dress. “I actually have a theory as to why Trolls have different blood colors and it has nothing to do with a hierarchy. Kanaya and I have even found some evidence that my hypothesis may be valid.” She takes a deep breath before pulling up a chart on the computer I’ve been sitting in front of. “This is a periodic table, a chart of elements.” She presses a few keys and some of the elements brighten while the others fade a bit. “These are the elements that can be found in blood. In Humans, the elements are mainly iron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, and hydrogen. In Trolls, the iron is combinable and interchangeable with other metals or minerals that oxidize to be different colors. For example, any of the blue hues. Their blood contains varying levels of silver. The green hues have varying levels of copper.”

“That’s a very interesting concept,” I say. “What about yellow?”

“Yellow was a bit tricky to figure out until Sollux finally let us test his blood. You see, yellow blood is unusual in that it has two metals. The first is iron, like the red hues. The second, though, is gold, which, alongside a fairly supernatural explanation, would account for their psionic abilities due to gold’s highly conductive property.” I look at her in confusion. “Psionics is a combination of telekinesis and electrical manipulation. It’s quite impressive, actually.”

“Impressive and dangerous,” Psii states as he makes his way over to us. He quickly kisses me before pulling a chair over for himself. “It’s also the reason yellow bloods make up almost ninety percent of the enslaved population. That would be almost one hundred percent of us. We’re basically living batteries.”

“Being _used_ as a living battery does not _make_ you a living battery,” Rose states. “You have a gift that most on my planet would give their first born to have, metaphorically speaking.” She looks a bit like a child being forced to apologize for something as she clarifies, “I have been informed a few times that my use of Human metaphors can be quite confusing and concerning to the majority of this meteor’s population. To my knowledge, nobody has traded their first born for anything in a few centuries. The term actually stems from-”

“Nobody wants a fucking history lesson, Lalonde,” Karkat snaps from the platform in the middle of the room. “We’re entering the dream bubble. If you don’t want your physical body to get hurt, I suggest you go to sleep now. If you don’t show up on the meteor, we’ll find you. We usually show up on the meteor when we’re actually passing through these things though. Unless you have a bad memory from on the meteor, you shouldn’t worry too much.”

“I should go find Equius,” I say slowly, worry seeping into my tone as I rise from my chair. His day terrors take place on this meteor, from what he’s told me.

“He’s fine,” Karkat states.

He’s about to say something else when I interrupt, “No, he’s not. You just said that we shouldn’t worry if we don’t have bad memories on the meteor. What about Equius? The most traumatic event in his life occurred in a lab down the hall. I’ve seen him hesitate to just walk past the door. He shouldn’t be _alone_ if there’s even a _chance_ he could relive the experience that almost killed him.” I’m not even trying to hide the small amount of panic replacing the worry in my voice.

“Are you going to let me fucking explain?” he snaps. “Or are you going to keep freaking out? Because if you think I’m going to stand here and listen to you freak the hell out about something we already have covered you have another fucking thing coming. I’m not going to fight with you about this.” I motion for him to continue. “I _know_ what happened to him and what could happen if he were to have to relive that again. That’s why Terezi’s with him. She’s our Seer of Mind. That means she can guide him away from his memory and straight into the dream bubble. Believe it or not, I get it. You’re worried about him. Well, guess what. So am I! That’s why precautions are in place.”

“I’d still rather be with him in case something happens.”

**_~Equius’ POV~_ **

I glance over to the clock on the wall again as Terezi continues to explain some plan Karkat came up with. Honestly, I don’t care. I’m terrified to go to sleep in a dream bubble. Feferi explained to me that there’s a risk of me waking up in the dream bubble and reliving what Gamzee did to me. She said that it would be like actually reliving it since we’re passing through the bubble, instead of just dreaming it like I’ve been doing for the last ten and a half months.

“Are you even listening to me?” Terezi snaps, pulling my attention back to her. I must look, or smell, as scared as I feel, because her anger at being ignored melts to sympathy. “I’ll do my best to get you to the dream bubble, but you have to meet me halfway.” She sits in front of me on my bed. “You’ve got to listen to me, Equius. If you tune me out, I can’t help you.” I bite my lip and look down to my hoofbeast plush in my lap.

“I’m scared,” I confess, tears in my eyes. There’s no point in hiding my emotions from someone who can read my mind. “I’d rather risk actually getting hurt, than go to sleep in a dream bubble.”

A knock pulls my attention to the door as Signless steps into my room. I don’t even hesitate to jump up and run into his arms. “Hey, Equius, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to do this,” I mumble as tears start to flow freely down my cheeks. “I don’t want to risk going through that again.”

“You only risk that if you don’t listen to me,” Terezi snaps, causing me to flinch at the sudden shouting.

“How about we _not_ shout,” Signless calmly, yet sternly, orders. “Okay?” Terezi sneers but agrees as Signless guides me back to my bed. He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear before saying, “You know that I would love nothing more than for you to never go through that again. But I also don’t want you to get hurt. Karkat told me the plan and that Terezi can help.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him,” Terezi cuts in, “but he’s too wrapped up in fear to listen.” She kneels in front of me and takes my hand. “If you get caught up in the memory, I _can’t_ pull you out. You’ll be on your own. Your mind is nothing but fear right now and you will get stuck if that doesn’t change before you go to sleep.” Her hands move up for her fingers to lightly press against my temples. “You need to remember that it’s not real. Tavros is keeping Gamzee distracted on the other side of the meteor until everyone’s in, so no version of him you see during your entry memory is real.”

“But-”

“No ‘buts’. Just go to sleep,” she shouts again, causing me to flinch again.

“What did I say about shouting?” Signless inquires authoritatively. He holds up a hand, halting her argument. “Please don’t argue with me. Believe me, you won’t win.” He turns his attention to me before continuing. “Equius, you have to go to sleep. I know you don’t want to, but you have to. If you want, I’ll stay right here with you the whole time.”

“Promise?” I ask.

He presses his forehead to mine and replies, “I promise. I’ll be right here beside you.”

“I’m still scared,” I mumble, looking away from Signless.

“That’s okay.”

“No it’s not,” Terezi comments from where she’s sitting on my desk. Signless glares warningly at her, most likely taking full advantage of her telepathic abilities to reprimand her negative attitude. She huffs before going back to tying knots in a length of rope she keeps in her sylladex. Knot tying is one of the ways she calms herself. Most people find it disturbing, especially after they see how fast she can tie a noose.

“I’m starting to think _you’re_ part of the reason he’s so scared and not just past experience,” he says, earning an evil looking smirk from our resident Libra. Shaking his head, Signless turns his attention back to me. “Lay down,” he instructs, all annoyance at Terezi’s antics gone from his tone. He pulls the blanket up over me as I do as I’m told. I turn over onto my side when he lays down beside me and curl up against him. A sense of calm washes over me as he hums a lullaby and runs his fingers through my hair. I’m so calm in my guardian’s arms that I’m finally able to close my eyes.

When I open my eyes, Signless is gone and I’m in the lab where Gamzee raped me almost a year ago.


	4. Entering the Bubble

**_~On LOTAK~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

It’s been almost a month since the incident with Gamzee on Jane’s roof. Since then I’ve installed a tracker in the back of Hal’s neck. It pings his location every thirty seconds and alerts me when he wanders off. I’ve also tried to be nicer to Arquius. He still creeps me out a little, but now I’m a bit more protective of him.

A couple of weeks ago, he started having really bad nightmares. My brilliant solution to this problem was for him to sleep with me instead of by himself on the couch. I guess that brings us to now, with him sound asleep and curled up against my side. He’s close enough for me to feel him trembling, but that’s not what woke me. What woke me, at two in the morning, was him mumbling incoherently in his sleep.

I’m almost able to ignore it and go back to sleep when his mumbling takes on a note of panic. I can’t understand a word he’s saying, though. At this point, I roll over to face him. I gently shake his shoulder, trying to wake him, but he just flinches away.

“Arquius,” I call, shaking him again.

This time, I can understand him as he begs, “Please. Stop…no more. PLEASE!”

My eyes go wide as I realize what he’s dreaming about. “Come on, Arquius,” I call as I sit up and shake him harder. “Wake UP!” He still doesn’t respond, so I slap him, hard. His eyes snap open and his hand flies to his, probably stinging, cheek.

“I-is something wrong with Hal?” he inquires, obviously holding back tears and trying to draw attention away from himself.

“What? No. You were having a nightmare. Are you okay?” He stays quiet. “Arquius?” He turns away from me, causing me to worry more. “Talk to me.” He again refuses to say even a word. “Are you scared?” He nods. I pull him into my arms. “You can talk to me. You know that, right? No judgement, I swear.”

Arquius shakes his head again, curling up closer to me. “I-I don’t th-think,” he stutters.

“Shoosh,” I coo. “You don’t have to talk now. I just wanted to make sure you knew that you _could_ talk to me. If you want to.” He nods with a small yawn. I guide him to lay back down as I pull the blanket back up over us. Even though he’s now facing me, he’s still trying to look anywhere but right at me. “Sorry for hitting you,” I apologize as I carefully glide my thumb across the red mark my hand left on his cheek. A small pang of guilt strikes me as I realize that this is the second time I’ve hurt him, the first time a month ago on the roof. He had a hard time with that because every time he moved his arm it pulled at the scrape. At one point, while he was trying to help me out with one of my bots, he had bumped it causing the scab to break open and bleed again.

I’m pulled from my thoughts by a small, metallic knock on the door followed by a quiet, “Daddy?”

“I’ll be right back,” I say quietly to Arquius as I climb out of bed. When I open the door, Hal is standing there clinging to his favorite toy, an old stuffed bunny that Jane had given him when he started having nightmares. I smile a bit as I pick Hal up. “Bad dream?” I ask as I shut the door and carry him over to the bed. He just nods and holds his bunny tighter. “Was it the same one as usual?”

“It was weird,” he says.

I lock eyes with Arquius as I climb back in bed, his expression matching my worry. “Weird how?” he asks.

“Jake’s grandmother and Jane were there,” he starts. “They were bad guys and they put Jake and Roxy in cages. Jake was in a purple cage. Roxy was in a gold cage. Then they turned to attack me and I woke up.”

He’s shaking by the time he’s done, so I pull him into my arms. “You know what? Arquius had a bad dream too. How about we try and fix this chain of bad dreams with a movie? Okay? I think I have Frozen downloaded.” His eyes light up as he nods his head. He curls up with Arquius while I put on the movie. All three of us are out like a light before Anna and Kristof meet Olaf.

The next time I open my eyes, I’m in a cave.

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

It doesn’t take long for Equius to fall asleep in my arms. I wait a few minutes just to make sure before I turn to Terezi and say, “He’s asleep.”

“Good,” she says as she hops off the desk. She drags the chair over to the head of the bed as she makes her way over. She rolls Equius onto his back and places her hands on either side of his head. “You were glowing, you know,” she comments as she herself start glowing a bright teal hue.

“I was unaware of that. Also, and I mean no offense by this but, aren’t you blind?”

She laughs a little as she shakes her head. “I had Meenah heal my eyes the last time we came through a dream bubble.” She’s silent for a moment as she concentrates before saying, “Lime.”

“What?”

She glances over to me for a moment. “You were glowing lime green. I thought all the lime bloods were killed off before you were hatched.”

“They were. The capricious bloods decided that their powers were a threat when a lime blood stopped a seadweller’s heart with a touch. There was a civil war among the highbloods because of it. But, that was all generations before I was hatched. I fail to see the relevance to the current situation.”

She turns her full attention to me at that statement. If I had to name her expression, it would be disbelief. “ _You’re_ a lime blood, Signless. That’s the relevance. Mutant lime is still lime. Maybe a few survived or something. Believe it or not, Alternia was _huge_. There were small settlements on the other side of the sea and on the moons that were only just being discovered when we entered our session.” She returns her attention to Equius. A moment later, she pulls her hands away as if she’s been burned. “Something’s wrong. Something’s VERY wrong!”

“What’s wro-” I’m cut off by a scream from down the hall.

“He’s stuck,” Terezi says, turning to me. “I can put you in his entry memory, but you have to let me. It’s harder for me to manipulate a psychic’s mind like this without permission.” I just nod. “Close your eyes. I’m going to put you to sleep and link you mind with his.”

“Just do it before something bad happens to him,” I demand, closing my eyes. I feel her hand on my forehead before everything fades away. When I open my eyes, I’m outside a lab.

**_~Equius’ POV~_ **

I scramble to my feet the second I recognize the room. I look around for any sign of _him_ but find nothing. Then the laughing starts. I spin around again, quickly scanning my surroundings. I still find nothing.

“Look up, motherfucker,” Gamzee calls from the top of one of the large capsules. My eyes go wide and my breathing quickens. I spot the door and run. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” An arrow strikes the control panel, destroying it and locking me in this room.

“LET ME OUT!” I shout, turning my back to the door. On the other side of the room, I spot an air vent. With a small spark of hope, I start running, trying to reach the only option I have of escape.

“ _KNEEL!”_ he shouts seconds before a familiar, excruciating pain erupts in my knee.

I hit the metal floor hard, but I don’t stop. I fail to rise to my feet, so I try to crawl to some form of safety. I’m so focused on trying to get away that I stop trying to keep track of Gamzee. I don’t make it very far before I feel the string of my bow around my neck. I freeze, adrenaline coursing through my veins but not a single muscle willing to move.

_I can’t breathe!_

“Look at me, motherfucker,” Gamzee orders as he turns me over, only barely loosening the cord to do so. With the small amount of slack in the cord, I’m able to scream. He laughs at my feeble attempt at drawing attention to what he’s doing. What he’s _going_ to do. He lets me scream before pulling hard on the bow wrapped around my neck, completely cutting off my air supply. “We’re gonna have some motherfucking fun,” he laughs as he slips a hand down my shorts. I try to jerk away from his touch, but my body won’t obey.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!” Signless shouts from the now open door. He rushes towards us, tackling Gamzee. I scramble to remove the bow from my neck and breath. “It’s not real, Equius,” he says as he makes his way over to me. He pulls me into his arms and runs his fingers through my hair. “I promise you, my child, he’s not _real_.”

I whimper when I feel a third hand on my shoulder. “Imagine somewhere where he knew he was safe,” an unfamiliar voice says. As the voice continues, the lab starts to turn into the inn room Signless, Psiioniic, and I shared after we freed Psiioniic. “Maybe somewhere where he knew Gamzee could never reach him. Where do you think he felt safest?”

“That inn after we rescued Psii,” Signless says. “It was the first time he slept through the day in months.”

“Good,” the girl says cheerfully. “Hey, Equius, look around. Is this a safe place?” Still clinging to my guardian, I comply. Everything’s the same as that day when Signless officially became my guardian, only Psiioniic, Disciple, and Dolorosa aren’t here. I cautiously glance in the direction where Gamzee should be, but he’s not there. I feel tears start to race down my cheeks at the sight of the empty floor where Gamzee should be. He’s not here. I really am safe. I look down to my knee and only see the scar. It really was just a dream. I nod in response to this girl’s inquiry before actually turning to look at her. “My name’s Latula Pyrope,” she informs before I have the chance to ask. “I’m here to take you to meet the rest of the gang. Horuss has been worried about you.”

“W-who’s Horuss?” I ask, trying to wipe away my traitorous tears.

Before she can answer, a boy that looks almost identical to Psiioniic bursts through the door. “Hey, Tulip, I found alternate me! He’s SO cool. Do you think he knows how to skateboard? Oh! You’re in your God Tier outfit! I like your God Tier outfit. You’re such a pretty Knight. Wait, are you doing the mind thing? Like trying to help someone or something?! Can I help too?”

The girl, Latula, sighs before saying, “Tuna, I love you, but you, as an Heir of Doom, are not very good at helping people deal with traumatic events. You’re very good at other things though. Like,” she thinks for a second, “finding people. Can you go find Horuss for me?”

“Will finding Horuss help?”

“Yes, honey. That would help very much.” Before the boy can run off, Latula perks up, as if she just remembered something very important. “Hold up a second. I almost forgot to introduce you. Guys, this is Mituna. He’s our generation’s Gemini and Doom player.” Mituna smiles and waves before Latula motions towards Signless and I. “Mituna, this is Signless and Equius. Signless is Kankri’s Alternian counterpart and Equius is Horuss’ descendant.” Mituna’s smile fades as Latula explains who Signless is. He looks almost sad yet extremely protective at the same time. Recognizing the look in his eyes, Latula shakes her head. “You’re not going to find Horuss, are you?”

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

Suspicion rises in the back of my mind as Mituna’s entire demeaner shifts. I instinctively tighten my hold on Equius. “You’re not going to find Horuss, are you?” Mituna shakes his head. “I guess we should get going if we don’t wanna be the last to show up.” With that said, she motions for us to follow as she makes her way out the door. She guides us through what looks like a village before we reach a cave and stop. “Uh,” she sounds confused as she summons a flashlight to her hand.

“We don’t have time for this,” Mituna says as his eyes start to glow brighter.

My suspicion spikes at this comment. “Is something wrong?” I inquire as Latula picks up a small rock from the ground and tosses it into the cave. No sound is emitted when the rock lands.

“Hey, ‘Tuna? Do you know of a way around this place?” she asks, turning her attention to the Gemini. Before he has the chance to respond, Equius dashes into the cave. “Equius!” she calls after him before turning to me. “What the hell’s wrong with that kid? He’s going to get lost! We have NO way of knowing what’s in there.”

“I don’t think he’ll get lost,” I say as I too enter the cave. The second I step past the entrance all outside sound disappears. I glance over my shoulder and see Latula trying to tell me something, but I can’t hear her. What I do hear is receding footsteps and rushing water. “Hey, Equius?” I call as I venture farther into the cave. “Don’t get too far ahead, okay.” The footsteps stop.

Just before I turn a corner, I feel a protective hand take a hold of my arm. “You shouldn’t get too far away either,” Mituna says, his hold lingering only long enough to get his point across. “A caprittanius was spotted in the area and we couldn’t tell if it was the one from your timeline or ours. I don’t want him to find you. He might confuse you for Kankri and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I smirk, “Or he might recognize me for me and still be upset about getting knocked out.”

“Wait,” Latula calls as she runs to catch up to us, “I thought you were a pacifist.”

“Psiioniic’s former owner was a caprittanius,” Equius says from behind a stalagmite. When I check behind the rock formation, Equius isn’t there. Instead, I hear him quietly laugh from farther into the cavern.

“That would explain why a pacifist knocked someone out,” Mituna laughs. “And is he playing hide and seek?”

“Yep. He’s been more playful lately. Nepeta thinks it’s because he has the chance to actually be a kid for once. I do like seeing this side of him, though. It’s definitely much better than daily anxiety attacks.”

Latula, clearly frustrated, all but growls, “We don’t have any fucking time for this!”

There’s a small cloud of navy smoke before Equius appears in front of Latula. “You shouldn’t use such foul language,” he reprimands. Before he starts ranting, like he did when he got tired of Psii cursing, I wrap my arms around his waist and pick him up, earning a small squeak for my efforts.

“I win,” I say before kissing him on the cheek and putting him back down. “Can we go now? I assume you recognize this place.”

He nods. “Latula said to think of a safe place.” He looks down to the ground. “The safest I’ve ever been was on LOCAS when there was no one around to hurt me.” Before I can say anything, he looks up at me and continues. “And I know that I’m safe with you, but you can get hurt too.”

“It scared you when I got hurt, didn’t it?” He only nods in response and starts walking farther into the cave. “Wait, Equius.” He continues to walk away, only motioning for us to follow before turning a corner. “We should talk about this,” I call after him, again receiving no response.

I’m about to follow when I hear him ask, “Who are you?” He sounds scared. Before I know it, I turn the corner and see a human staring down my child, sword in hand.

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

“Who are you?” a familiar voice calls from behind me.

Instinctively, I summon my katana and spin around to face the new presence. “Arquius?” I inquire, only slightly lowering my weapon, upon seeing a boy that looks disturbingly similar to my sprite. I drop my katana when three more Trolls, all obviously older than the Arquius look alike, round the corner. One of them, the one that looks a little like Erisol, moves protectively between me and the other three. The boy that looks like Arquius clings to the one with nubby horns while the girl kneels beside him.

I’m about to ask if he’s okay, when I hear Hal scream. “Daddy! Arquius!” he shouts before screaming again. I strain my senses to try and figure out where he is. Hearing rushing water, I turn and run. I summon my phone to my hand and check his tracker. No use, it shows that he’s right next to me. My heart starts pounding harder in my chest as I run faster. The closer I get, the louder the water gets. I turn another corner and see the roaring rapids that is a cavern river. It feels like my heart stops when I see Hal clinging to a rock in the middle of the river.

“Hal,” I call, catching his attention. “Hey, it’s okay. Can you hold on?” He nods as I try to find a way to get to him. I pace up and down the riverbank only to find no way of reaching him. “Fuck it,” I mumble as I kick off my boots and jump in the river. The current drags me a little way downstream but I fight against it. I have to get to Hal!

I’m so close I can almost touch him when the current becomes stronger and drags me under the rapids. I try to break free of the relentless current to no avail. I’m stuck under the water, pinned by the rapids above. Before long, my lungs start to burn, and I involuntarily inhale nothing but water. My semi-coordinated attempt at swimming turns to thrashing, trying to push off the rocky bottom, as panic starts to set in. I hear Hal scream again as my vision starts to blur. With darkness rapidly blotting out my surroundings, I let my eyes fall closed and wait for my inevitable death when I feel a strong pair of arms around me.


	5. Meeting the Dancestors

**_~In the Dream Bubble~_ **

**_~Equius’ POV~_ **

“Daddy!” the android calls as I pull the human from the river. “Why isn’t he breathing? DADDY!”

I try to ignore the panicking android as I lay the blonde on the rocky riverbank. He’s starting to turn a little blue as I start chest compressions. Twenty compressions, two breaths, repeat. After a few tries, he starts coughing. I roll him over onto his side as he coughs up the water that had snuck into his lungs.

“You’re okay,” I assure him, rubbing circles between his shoulders in an attempt to calm him. “You’re okay, just breathe.” I look over my shoulder to the android struggling to hold onto the rock in the middle of the river. I close my eyes and focus my telekinesis on him, lifting him off the rock and setting him down on the dry land close by.

“Dirk?” Dave calls from beside Karkat at the cave’s exit a few yards away. He comes running over when he sees the state we’re both in, soaked and breathless. “Bro, what the hell happened?!” Dirk opens his mouth to answer but can only manage to cough more. “Equius, what happened?!” Dave demands as he pulls his brother into his arms.

I motion to the android, Hal, crying and shivering a few feet away. “He was trying to save him, and the current pinned him to the bottom of the river.” I turn back to Dave. “That river was designed to test my strength. He’s lucky this is one of the weaker branches. This could have ended a lot worse than it did.”

When I receive an understanding nod from Dave, I stand and make my way over to where Karkat’s waiting by the exit into the main part of the dream bubble. He looks about as annoyed as he does worried. “Do I want to know what the fuck is going on?”

“Dave’s brother almost drowned.” His worry wins its fight against his annoyance as he stares at me in wide eyed fear. “He’s okay. Have you talked to Kankri?”

The look of pure annoyance returns as Karkat turns and walks away, motioning for everyone to follow. He leads us through the maze of rope bridges of Terezi’s old treehive. We follow him down a flight of stairs to a place that looks like Prospit where everyone else is waiting for us. Someone has set up a few mats in the middle of a courtyard where Kankri and a man that looks unnervingly similar to Eridan are sparring. The two are so in sync with each other that it looks more like a performance than a fight. Every punch blocked; every kick dodged. I just stop and watch in awe until Kankri is able to land a few quick jabs. Caught off guard, his sparring partner is left wide open for Kankri to sweep his legs out from under him and pin him to the mat with a foot on his chest, holding him down.

“That’s Cronus,” Mituna says as he walks past me. He looks more than a little satisfied to see Cronus on his back, pinned to the sparring mat. “If it were up to me, he’d _always_ be on his back.”

Kankri, having obviously not realized that we’ve arrived, moves to retrieve a red towel from a nearby railing. As he wipes the sweat from the back of his neck, Cronus rises from the mat and sneaks up behind him. Kankri squeaks in surprise when Cronus wraps his arms around his waist. He laughs a little when he turns around in the aquarius’ arms and kisses him softly.

“Hey, asshole!” Karkat shouts as he marches past me towards the entangled two. “You wanted to test Signless. Well, he’s here! Stop making out and get on with the fucking test!”

“I’m not too sure I’m comfortable with this,” Signless informs as he joins the small crowd gathered.

Kankri, having untangled himself from Cronus, makes his way over to us and says, “I mean no offense, but you don’t have a choice in the matter. You may not be in any immediate danger here, like you were on Alternia, but you’re still in quite a bit of danger. You need to learn how to effectively defend yourself against enemies that are much more powerful than an enraged highblood. We’re up against Lord English and, believe me, you’re ill-equipped to handle that.” He’s about to say more when Karkat, already more frustrated than I’ve ever seen him, growls threateningly at him.

Before a fight breaks out, a human, Jade if memory serves me, moves in between the too. “I’m too tired to deal with you two right now.”

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

“No fighting or I’ll send you both to separate dream bubbles!” the human girl shouts, a bright green energy sparking around her outstretched hands. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared of someone who looks so innocent. She turns her attention to me and smiles. The energy disappears as she reaches a hand out for me to shake. “Hi, I’m Jade Harley, Witch of Space. I keep these two from crossing lines that can never be uncrossed.”

“She’s our auspistice,” Kankri and Karkat say in unison, still glaring at each other.

“And you two shouldn’t be in a situation where you need an auspistice in the first place. You’re related for crying out loud!”

“Different timelines,” the once again speak in unison.

“Also, humans call it a mediator, but whatever.” She turns her attention back to me. “You must be Signless.” I only nod. “Oh, I’m sorry. I must seem a bit scary with the whole half dog thing going on.” She smiles again before growling at something behind me.

I glance over my shoulder when I hear Disciple hiss at Jade. “Really, Disciple? Are you actually hissing?”

My moirail pouts as she hugs my arm. “But she’s a barkbeast and she’s there.”

I laugh a little at her behavior, “You’re not actually a meowbeast, you know.”

“A girl can dream, can’t she,” she retorts, playfully slapping my arm, before she makes her way over to the other two Leos gathered off to the side, painting on a wall. She chooses a few paints and starts working on a picture.

I turn my attention back to Jade. “Sorry about her,” I apologize, finally shaking Jade’s hand. She seems like a nice enough girl.

“Pleasantries aside,” Kankri speaks. “You really do need to learn how to fight.” He looks around as if he’s searching for some unseen danger. “Preferably before Samael returns.”

“Why does that name sound familiar?”

“I-it was my master’s name,” Psii informs. He looks a bit pale when I look over to where he had been talking with Mituna. “I c-can’t be h-here.”

I move closer to him and snake my arms around his waist. “You’re okay, Psii,” I quietly assure him as I rest my head on his shoulder. I can feel his heart racing so much faster than should be physically possible. “Hey, Psii, can you look at me?” He nods and hesitantly ceases his search of the area to look down at me. “You’re safe. You know that right? Nobody’s going to hurt you.” He looks away from me, a look of guilt in his eyes and I know in an instant that he doesn’t believe me.

Before I can think of a way to reassure my mate of his safety, a phone chimes. “If it’s any consolation, Rufioh has confirmed that it’s my Samael roaming this bubble,” Kankri states with a shaky voice, “not yours.” He hands Cronus his phone before retuning to the mat. “Signless, if you don’t mind, let’s not drag this out any longer than necessary, please.”

I nod hesitantly before turning my attention back to Psii for a moment. “I promise you, my love, you’re safe here,” I whisper before leaning up and kissing him quickly. With a small sigh, I move to meet Kankri on the mat.

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

I silently watch the interaction between the trolls from the warmth of my brother’s arms as we sit on the stairs. He had carried me from the riverbank after I almost fell over when I tried to stand on my own. Why did I jump into that river? That was such a stupid move. I know that this is a dream and that none of it is real, but I had to save Hal.

Hal.

Where’s Hal?

My eyes go wide as I look around for him. Not seeing him, I stand up. Or, at least, I try to. Dave holds me closer, preventing me from leaving his protective hold. He holds me tighter the more I try to escape him.

“Bro, you almost drowned,” Dave says. “Stay down and rest, please. I don’t wanna have to restrain you.”

I look up to him, asking, “W-where’s H-h-hal?” I can’t even talk without stuttering, I’m so cold.

“You mean that little android you jumped in the river for?” I nod. He looks over to where the Arquius look alike is wrapping a large towel around Hal. “He’s over there. Equius is trying to dry him off. You know it was a stupid move, jumping in the river like that.”

“I-I know.”

“You were _lucky_ Equius was able to get to you.”

“I know.”

“If it were just you, you would have died.”

I snuggle closer to Dave, tears starting to form in my eyes upon realizing how much I scared him. “I’m s-sorry,” I stutter.

His arms tighten around me as he presses a small kiss to the top of my head. “Don’t be sorry, learn. Next time _wait_ for help. Don’t do something that could get you killed. I don’t wanna watch you die again.” I nod, silently promising to not do anything stupid. “You scared that android of yours, too.”

My attention shifts from Dave back to Hal and Equius. A smile tugs at my lips as I watch Hal show off his favorite toy. Where the old bunny had appeared from, I have no clue. Equius smiles before snapping his fingers and making a white horse plush appear in his hands. I guess that’s his favorite toy from when he was a kid. The entire interaction is adorable, and definitely not what I’d expect from half of my sprite. Maybe the part of Arquius that creeps me out is the part he got from my auto responder. The part he got from me.

My cheeks heat with a light blush when Equius smiles over to me. I smile back, trying to seem cool. I’m about to call to them when the sound of something heavy hitting a mat drags everyone’s attention to the sparring area.

**_~Kankri’s POV~_ **

After calming his matesprit, Signless meets me on the mat. He looks more than a little uncomfortable with the idea of violence but determined to get this over with as quickly as possible. “Do you know how to fight?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Dolorosa taught me how to defend myself when I was little. Beyond that, no, I don’t know how to fight,” he explains.

“Well at least you’re not starting with nothing,” I say.

We start slow, a few jabs from me to learn his reaction time. Two hits land, but all others are either dodged or blocked. He seems to be studying me as well. Smart on his part. Then the tables turn so fast my head spins. He catches my left wrist and pulls me towards him. When I’m close enough, he shoves my right shoulder, spinning me around. My arm is twisted painfully behind my back as his other arm comes up around my neck.

This is where I freeze. Images of all the times my former guardian had me in this exact position flash across my mind.

Signless kicks my legs out from under me and drags me down onto the mat, removing his arm from my neck. He pins me with both of my arms twisted behind me and his knee pressed to the middle of my back.

The night Cronus and Mituna walked in on what Samael _did_ to me flashes through my mind, and I panic.

“OFF!” I snap. The second he’s off of me, I run to Cronus at the side of the mat.

“I’m sorry,” Signless apologizes. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Knowing that I go nonverbal when I’m like this, Cronus explains, “He’s not hurt, just scared. Choke holds and being pinned like that can trigger his PTSD. It just depends on the person. He’s usually fine with Karkat so we figured he’d be fine with you, too. I guess not.”

I flinch at the gentle hand on my shoulder, hiding my face in Cronus’ chest. “I’m really sorry for scaring you,” Signless says. I only nod. “If you don’t mind my asking, what did Samael do to you?”

My voice abandons me as I try to answer my alternate, so I tap Cronus’ chest twice, signaling him to answer for me. “It would be easier to tell you what that monster _didn’t_ do to him,” he explains, venom in his tone. “Samael was every kind of abusive you could come up with. If it hurt, he did it. He attacked Kankri physically and mentally every day of his life until Mituna and I caught him.”

“He broke Kankri’s ribs, I broke his door,” Mituna blurts from a few yards away. Signless’ eyes go wide, anger and worry flashing in his expression. Before he can say anything, though, the monster himself storms over. Him and a man that I’ve only ever seen in visions of Signless’ final days on Alternia.


	6. Escape the Bubble

**_~In the Dream Bubbles~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

I follow Kankri’s fearful gaze to the two newcomers and my mind is split between anger and fear upon seeing Samael and Dyrrin. My fear wins when Dyrrin’s eyes lock with mine. Memories of the torture he put me through come to the front of my mind as a sadistic smirk spreads across his face.

“Good to see you again, freak,” Dyrrin laughs. “I see you heal fast.”

Before I have time to process what’s been said, Karkat and Sollux rush to put themselves between me and the man who tortured me less than a week ago. “You’re not welcome here,” Sollux snaps, his psionics sparking weakly in warning. Karkat remains silent as he stands defensively in front of me, his sickles held ready to fight.

Dyrrin just laughs again. “Hiding behind children? Hey, Samael, this is going to be easier than we thought.”

“We’re gods you piece of shit!” Karkat growls before trying to rush the smug highblood. He doesn’t get very far before I wrap my arms around his waist, holding him back. “Let me go!” he snaps at me.

“Are you going to try and fight him?” I inquire, turning my descendant around to face me.

He growls, “After what he did to you, it’s not going to be a fight.” He takes on a darker tone that worries me. “I’m going to kill him.”

Keeping a firm grip on his wrists, I shake my head and kneel down to his level. “Karkat, please, don’t stoop to his level. He’s a sadistic jerk, yes, but nobody deserves to die.”

“But he hurt you.”

“And? I’ve been hurt before. Why do you think Dolorosa forced me to learn to defend myself?”

“But-”

“No, Karkat.”

He looks at me in disbelief for a moment before captalogging his sickles with a small angry huff. “Fine, but if he tries to hurt you again I will _not_ be responsible for my actions.”

I don’t get to respond before everyone but Dyrrin disappears and my surroundings change. The once open area is now a small room. Blood, my blood, is splattered on the walls and floor and a rust covered chain hangs from the ceiling, holding up my sleeping body. Dyrrin laughs sadistically as my heart starts to race, fear sending adrenaline rushing through my veins. I regret not letting Karkat attack this sadist when he starts stalking towards me like a predator to its prey.

**_~Kankri’s POV~_ **

My eyes go wide in fear when Signless and his attacker vanish from the plaza. “Signless?” I call as I look around, hoping that he was only transported away from the group. No luck. He’s gone, nowhere to be found. Worried about my alternate, I take a deep breath and leave the safety of Cronus’ embrace. I run up the stairs to a different part of the dream bubble, hoping to find him. “SIGNLESS!” I call as I run, searching every part of the relatively small bubble I have access to. I’m not alone in my search as I hear the others calling his name, as well.

I only stop running for a moment to catch my breath on the shore of a beach. From my understanding, this part of the dream bubble is from a member of Karkat’s session, but I don’t know exactly who. How could this have happened? Samael I understand, he haunts my day terrors, but how could Dyrrin have appeared in a dream bubble?

I tap into my Seer powers to try and find Signless only to be greeted with an intense wave of pain. Not even Samael ever caused me to hurt this much. Another wave of pain crashes into me before the first completely subsides, sending me to my knees. I scream as a third bout of excruciating pain hits me almost immediately after the second. Someone pulls me into their arms as the waves rapidly become a constant stream of agony.

“Kankri,” Rufioh tries to get my attention as I curl up against him, seeking any form of comfort. “Hey, shh. You’re okay. Kankri, can you look at me?” I keep my eyes tightly shut and shake my head. “That’s okay, just listen. I’m going to take you to Porrim, okay?”

I shake my head and manage to mumble, “C-Cronus.”

“Porrim’s closer,” he states as he takes to the sky. Not a minute later, we land as he calls my guardian’s name.

I manage to open my eyes a little when I hear her gasp only to immediately close them. It hurts too much to even keep my eyes open. The pain only subsides slightly when she pulls me into her protective embrace. “Kankri? Sweetie, what’s wrong?” she inquires, fear dripping from her voice.

“Hurts,” I mumble. “I-I can feel his pain.” A feeling like fire racing across my back tears another broken scream from my lungs. I cling to Porrim, burying my face in her tattooed shoulder, as tears escape down my cheeks. “P-please make it stop,” I whimper.

**_~Equius’ POV~_ **

The Striders, Hal, and I are the only ones who didn’t take off in all directions in search for Signless when he disappeared. Dave and Dirk restrained Samael before he could follow Kankri. Hal, obviously being programmed to be a child, freezes in fear. He doesn’t seem to know whether to do something to help or just run and hide. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, focusing on Signless. I’m able to search the entire Void in seconds, but I’m having trouble finding _my_ version of him.

“Found him,” I exclaim when I finally locate my Signless.

“Where is he?” Dave inquires from where he finishes tying up Samael.

I don’t get to tell him before a familiar pain erupts in my cheek. Raising a hand to touch my face confirms my fear. “Get everyone on the meteor,” I order as I take off running towards where I found Signless, wiping blood off my cheek. “Lord English is on his way here!”

Dirk speaks up this time, “We can leave this douche here though, right?”

I spin around and glare at him for his suggestion. “All life is precious! Don’t you dare leave him to die!”

I don’t wait for his response before turning and running. Three more gashes appear on my side, upper arm, and thigh before I finally reach the small concrete building at the base of a purple cliff. By now, I’m limping and starting to see double. Using my telekinesis to destroy one of the doorless walls makes my head spin. Teleporting the two occupants and myself back to the safety of the computer lab on the meteor is the last thing I’m able to do before I finally pass out and wake up, alone, in my blood-soaked bed.

Against the protest of my own body, I manage to limp to the computer lab where everyone has gathered. Luckily, everyone is here. Even the Dancestors are here, most of whom have opted to huddle around Kankri to keep Samael from him.

“Equihiss!” Nepeta shouts, rushing to catch me as my injured leg gives out.

Aradia, noticing the worry in Nepeta’s voice, flies over to help her keep me upright. “What happened?”

“Lord English,” I say, having trouble breathing through my pain. “You and Sollux need to get us out of this bubble.”

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Karkat’s POV~_ **

“Hey, Sollux,” Aradia calls as she flies over. “We need to move the meteor.”

Again? They need to push this rock _again_?! “What?!” I exclaim. “Y-you can’t be serious!” She gives me the most apologetic serious look I’ve ever seen. “No! He’s still weak from the last time. He can’t-”

I’m cut off by Sollux covering my mouth with his hand. “I’ll be fine,” he says before moving his hand. I don’t need words to convey how much I don’t like this idea. “Hey, Psii,” he calls, refusing to acknowledge my worried expression. When he gets his ancestor’s attention, he waves him over. “We need to move the meteor out of the dream bubble,” he explains when Psii reaches us after reluctantly leaving Signless’ side while Meenah heals him. “We’re going to need help, though.” He holds up his hand, allowing small red sparks to dance across his palm. The fact that he’s straining to just produce a few sparks worries both me and Psiioniic. “Aradia can’t push this rock on her own and I’m not strong enough to help her as much as last time.” He looks over to where Mituna is sitting between Kurloz and Latula. “If Mituna could help us, I’d ask him instead, but he’s only barely lucid now because he’s high on mind honey. Even attempting to use his powers would hurt him.”

“I’ll do it,” Psii interrupts.

“I’m coming with you,” I state as the three of them start to head towards the transport in the center of the room.

“KK, no,” Sollux orders.

I glare at him and grab his wrist, checking his pulse. “Your heart rate is already elevated, most likely from the effort to just produce a few sparks. I’m either coming with you to monitor your vitals or you’re staying here where I know you’re not going to overexert yourself and wind up like Mituna or worse, dead! _Again_!”

He glares at me for about five seconds before sighing and motioning for me to follow. Before we step off the platform at our destination, Sollux turns to Psiioniic and says, “I’ve got to warn you, this isn’t going to be like anything you’ve been plugged into before.” He follows Aradia to the side of the building we were just in. “Reason being, you’re not actually plugging into anything. We are literally using our power to push the meteor.”

Aradia presses her hands firmly to the wall. “It’s easier for me than it will be for you two because my power is purely telekinetic and yours is not.” Her hands start to glow a nearly blinding white as she focuses on pushing the meteor. Sollux adds his power seconds later, followed by Psiioniic.

It doesn’t take long for Sollux’s psionics to start to backfire, causing red and blue lightening patterns to climb up his arms. He glares at me when I take a step closer. Placing a hand on his shoulder, I can feel his blood rushing through his veins faster than it should. I hesitate to pull him away, though, because he should know his limits and I’m only here to stop him from being reckless. I don’t like it, but he had the same reaction last time, when he was at full power.

I don’t pull him away from the wall until I see blood dripping from his nose and his heartrate is much faster than can be considered safe. Despite his weakness, he tries to protest my decision. “You’re done,” I say, pulling him farther from the wall.

“I’m f-fine,” he mumbles before collapsing against me.

Carefully, I guide him down to lay on the ground with his head in my lap. “No, you’re done,” I repeat. I take his hand and gently press his fingers against the pulse point on the side of his neck. “That’s your pulse and it shouldn’t be that fast.” His tired eyes finally close as he gives up on talking me into letting him continue, holding his injured arms close to his chest. I gently wipe the blood from under his nose with my sleeve before running my fingers through his hair. “Get some rest, okay? I’ll wake you up when they’re done.” The only response I get is a soft hum as he slips into unconsciousness.


	7. Pasts and Potions

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

I once again wake up in pain. For a moment, I forget the last few days and fear I’m back in a cell awaiting my execution. Panic starts to set in when I look up and see a seadweller sitting next to me. I hold my breath, hoping she hasn’t noticed that I’m alive yet.

That hope is shattered when she looks down. “Guys, he’s awake!” she calls over her shoulder before looking back to me. “How are you feeling?” I remain silent, staring at her with wide eyes. “You’re afraid of me, huh?”

“Of course he’s afraid of you,” a voice, disturbingly similar to my own, confirms. “Your Alternian counterpart is one of the ones that wanted him dead.”

“But I ain’t going to hurt him.”

Kankri sits on my other side with a large bowl of water and a clean rag. “He doesn’t know that. And disorientation can very easily drive away all sense. I found that out the hard way myself.” He looks me over as he helps me sit up. “You’re getting better at healing mutants, Meenah. Not perfect, but better.” He turns his attention to me as he dabs at a cut near my hairline, that was much larger before I passed out, with the damp cloth. “Most of your injuries are still very serious and will need to be monitored, but I’m most worried about potential brain damage. You took a few too many blows to the head for me to be comfortable with you being unsupervised.” He moves on to lacerations and burns around my wrists.

I watch him expertly wrap fresh bandages around my right arm. “Where did you learn first aid?” He looks a little uncomfortable with the question, innocent as it is.

“Lots of your wounds are just like the ones Samael gave him over the sweeps,” Meenah says from a chair a few feet away. She sounds angry.

Kankri’s hand starts to shake at the mention of that name. He takes a deep breath before pointedly stating, “My day terror-ish upbringing is irrelevant at the moment.”

“She said a name and you started shaking,” I say, catching his eye. “It’s not ‘irrelevant’. What did he do to you?” He silently goes back to cleaning my various open wounds, trying to ignore my question. “Kankri-” I say while grabbing his hand.

The second I touch him, my surroundings turn into a nicely furnished room. _Kankri is looking around, fear in his eyes, as he carefully walks through the door. When he gets to the center of the room, Samael stumbles in. Kankri takes off running only to get caught by the older Troll and pinned to the wall. He’s saying something that I can’t hear, but his roaming hands make it painfully obvious what he intends to do to this child. Kankri’s reaction tells me that this has happened before._ The vision blurs into a mess of color as it fades back to the computer lab, leaving the sounds of a slap and Kankri’s scream in its place.

“Meenah, please take over,” he says before standing and excusing himself.

I watch, confused, as he quickly walks away. “What did I just see?” I ask as Meenah takes over cleaning my injuries, starting with the whiplashes on my back.

“Probably one of his memories.” Her hand halts for a moment. “He never talks about what he went through. I know about the physical abuse because Cronus thought I could heal his wounds, but he never told me about how he wound up with hand shaped bruises on his thighs or bites everywhere. Those of us that weren’t involved in Samael’s trial only know what he’s told us, and that ain’t much. He and Rufioh are close so he might know, but he ain’t talking either.”

I can’t bring myself to say anything after that. My own injuries are nothing compared to what Kankri’s been through most of his life. And the panic in his eyes, in _my_ eyes, reminded me of when I first met Equius. It reminded me of how scared he was of everything, even me sometimes. I never thought I’d see that level of panic again, especially not in a mirror image of myself.

“So what happened to him?” Meenah asks insistently.

I shake my head before glancing over my shoulder at her. “If he wants to keep his past a secret, I’ll respect his wishes.” I look down to where the word mutant had been carved into my left arm. “If you’re truly his friend, you’d do the same.”

“I _am_ his friend,” she snaps. “That’s why I wanna know. It’s bad enough that your kid refused to leave Samael behind. I have to know what kind of danger he’s in with that monster being here.”

I glance over to where Equius is sound asleep on a pile of colorful pillows. Nepeta’s happily playing with his hair, braiding and unbraiding a small section behind his ear. The fresh scars on his arm and cheek worry me a little, but I push that to the back of my mind. I don’t know if I’m glad or not that he didn’t leave someone to die. While we do agree that all life is precious, I’m not sure Samael deserved to be saved.

A sharp pain pulls me from my thoughts, followed by an immediate apology from Meenah. “Equius did the right thing. He’s always understood that life isn’t something to be thrown away, even if it’s been wasted on negativity.”

She chuckled a little. “I assure you, that man’s been dead a few centuries.”

“An afterlife is still a life.”

Before she can argue, Psii comes over. He kisses my cheek and asks, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” I reply, smiling, before I notice the red and blue lightening patterns covering his arms. “What happened?!” He gets a look on his face like he’s trying to figure out how to explain something. After a moment of silence, he just smiles like he’s guilty of something and doesn’t want me to be mad at him. “Psiioniic, please tell me you didn’t.”

“The dream bubble was about to be destroyed. Mituna would’ve gotten hurt. Sollux was weak. Aradia needed help.” He explains so fast I barely caught it all. “I helped.”

I take a deep breath to calm myself. I’m not mad at Psii, just worried, and I don’t want to make him think that I’m mad. “ _You’re_ hurt now.”

“And you know that I’ve had worse,” he tries to argue.

The memory of how we found him flashes across my mind; his pained cries ring in my ears and images of gold splattered walls push away all other thought for a moment. “Stop,” I say firmly, startling both Psii and Meenah. It doesn’t take him very long to realize what he said and why I was upset. “Just, promise me you won’t do something that dangerous again, okay?”

He nods a second before Karkat slams the door open. From across the rather large room, I can see the murder in his eyes as he storms over to where Dyrrin and Samael are tied to chairs off to the side. He cuts the rope binding Dyrrin and slams him against the nearby wall. If my descendant wasn’t ready to kill this man, the scene would have been almost funny since Karkat is at least a foot shorter than this guy. I sigh, exhausted both physically and emotionally, knowing that Karkat is far more violent than me. “I’ll be right back,” I say as I get up and make my way over to Karkat. “Please don’t make me drag you away from this man.” I cross my arms and give my descendant the disappointed parent look that I learned from Dolorosa.

He flinches when he sees this expression. I more than understand, this look made me question every choice I’d ever made when I was little. After quickly regaining his composure, and anger, he snaps, “He hurt you again!”

“Karkat,” I say with a slight edge to my tone, “do not make me drag you away from this man.”

“But he hurt you,” he repeats, sounding a little more confused.

“And?” He looks completely dumbfounded. “Yes, he hurt me. But he didn’t kill me, which he very easily could have.”

“I prefer to hear you scream,” Dyrrin stupidly comments with a sadistic smirk.

I have to quickly pull Karkat away before he slices Dyrrin’s throat. He actually managed to make a small cut on the side of his neck. I roll my eyes, completely done with this situation, and put my hand over the cut. “Do you have a death wish?” I ask, my level of annoyance and exhaustion painfully clear. “Meenah.”

“I ain’t healing him!”

“Meenah.”

“No! He doesn’t deserve it!”

I lock eyes with her, “Please, Meenah. For me.” She grumbles as she finally makes her way over and begins healing him. “I recommend you don’t talk,” I advise Dyrrin. “You have a bad habit of getting yourself into unnecessarily high amounts of trouble.” He looks me over and smirks seductively before I roll my eyes in disgust. With Dyrrin taken care of, I turn my attention back to my seething descendant. Leading him out into the hallway, I ask, “Where’s your brother?”

As expected, Karkat’s demeaner shifted from angry to protective. “Fef’s with him. He overdid it a bit and went blind again. Fef’s trying to fix his eyes.”

“What do you mean ‘again’?”

“Every time a gold pushes themselves too far, their psionics attack them. It’s different for everyone. With Mituna and Psiioniic, it attacks their nerves. With Sollux, it triggered voidrot. It usually takes Fef a few days to fully reverse it.”

“Doesn’t voidrot-”

“Yes. Especially psionics with his power level. But I promise you, he’ll be fine. This is the third time this has happened and Fef’s been able to reverse it every time. Really, I’d be more worried about Kankri than Sol. He looked pretty upset when I saw him a little while ago.”

Knowing that I’m the reason he stormed off, I feel guilty. “Do you know where he went? I need to apologize.”

“He went top side. Stairs are that way,” he informs with a confused expression as he points me towards a door labeled exit. As I make my way down the long hall, he inquires, “What’d you do?”

“I unintentionally looked into his memories.” I pause for a moment before turning back around to face Karkat. “I believe I saw something I shouldn’t have. Something about his past.”

Shaking his head, he walks with me, trying to explain, “You really don’t get it, do you? His memories are your memories. You two are the same person, just from two different timelines. Your visions were glimpses of his memories with the other Beforan Zodiacs. Whatever you saw, you had the right to see. He’s watched your entire life play out like a fucking movie. You’re the one person in existence that should know everything about him, even his fucked-up past.” When we reach the door, he holds it open for me. The look in his eyes matches the way Summoner looked at Highblood when he glances up the stairs before shaking his head and looking away. “I don’t trust myself to be around him without Jane nearby. We’ll argue, then we’ll fight. Things can get out of hand real fast. He’s probably up there shooting. Good luck.”

**_~On LOTAK~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

I wake up gasping for breath in my room. Arquius is still asleep, curled up against my side. The end of his tail is wrapped around my ankle and his arms are wrapped tightly around my waist. Hal is nowhere to be seen, probably hiding again, but Arquius’ shaking pushes the urge to help him to the front of my mind. I check my phone and see that Hal has gone back to his own room.

Knowing that he’s safe, I turn my attention back to Arquius. Having met the Troll he was created from, I feel bad for the way I had treated and judged him. He’s not a total creep, that he got from me. Thinking back on the short time I’ve known him, I can see how much he takes after Equius. He’s smart and kind, just like Equius, but sometimes he’s as pushy and abrasive as me.

But when he has nightmares, I don’t see any side of myself in him. When I have nightmares, I push away everyone and everything. I find a project to work on or some monsters to fight. All he seems to want is to be held when his dreams become nightmares. Seeing how Equius clung to Signless when I scared him, I assume he’s the same way.

I sigh as I turn onto my side and wrap my arms around Arquius. Instead of trying to wake him, I rub circles into his back, humming a lullaby. He seems to calm down enough that he’s not shaking anymore. As he relaxes, he snuggles closer to me, tucking his head under my chin. We stay like this for a few hours, until he finally wakes up.

“Morning, Red,” I whisper.

He looks up at me, both fear and confusion in his wide red eyes. “I-I’m sorry,” he stutters after teleporting away from me. “I- I didn’t mean to- I’m sorry.”

It takes me a second to realize that I used to snap at him for clinging to me. He’s probably afraid I’m going to yell at him again. I sigh as I grab his wrist and pull him back into my arms. “No, Arquius, _I’m_ sorry. I should’ve known how scared you would have to be to cling to me, of all people, and I only made things worse. I’m trying to do better, I really am. I’m starting to realize that the parts of you that I don’t like are parts that you got from me.” He looks confused. “I met Equius. He’s a good guy; smart, sweet, good with Hal. I was thinking about all the times I saw that in you and just ignored it. For that, I’m so sorry. Can you give me another chance to do better?” Confusion takes over his expression for a moment before skepticism takes its place. “You don’t have to answer me now. Just know that I’m _trying_.”

“I know,” he mumbles, resting his head on my shoulder. “I just have a hard time trusting people.”

I flinch hearing that because I know that that’s another trait he inherited from me. Why did he have to be so much like me? I’m a horrible person. He could have been a carbon copy of Equius, but that damn clown had to mix him with a splinter of my mind. Hal is the only good thing I’ve done in my entire life. Now, Arquius has to deal with me. He deserves so much better than to be stuck with someone like me.

“You’re not entirely a bad person,” Arquius mumbles, looking up at me with those innocent eyes. I don’t ever want those eyes to change. As if he hears my thoughts, he smiles up to me. It’s strange; when Equius smiled at me like that, it felt like time was in slow motion and my heart was preforming an acrobatics routine. But when Arquius smiles at me like that, I feel a sense of pride, like when Hal smiles at me. I smile back and kiss the top of his head.

It's quiet for a while before my phone plays the chorus of “Feisty”. I swear he has the worst timing! “What, Jake?” I ask the second I answer the phone.

“Jane’s got the clown occupied. He’s trying to sell her potions again.”

“Where,” is all I can say as I quickly throw on a cleanish shirt and grab my katana.

“Outside her house. You should hurry, I have no idea how long she can keep him here.”

“What’s going on?” Arquius inquires as I hang up the phone.

I’m at the door by now. He looks worried, but I have a look of determination that seems to calm his worry. “The clown’s trying to sell potions to Jane. We might finally have a chance to capture him. Maybe even figure out what the hell he wants.”

**_~On LOCAH~_ **

Jake and Roxy are loading their guns as we arrive on Jane’s roof, their sprites restlessly waiting nearby. Erisol has a look of murder in his eyes as he fiddles with a sci-fi looking gun. Fefeta is nervously flying in small circles around him, her two halves having a mumbled conversation. Nepeta’s half seems scared, Feferi’s just seems pissed.

Erisol does a doubletake when he sees Arquius following me. His murderous look shifts to one of shock and concern as he stops Fefeta’s circling. “That idiot brought Equius along,” he whispers to her.

“What?!” she snaps before she rushes to hug Arquius. “You shouldn’t be here.” She turns to me. “He shouldn’t be here! Are you crazy?! What if Gamzee hurts him?! Or he freaks out?!”

Arquius grabs her shoulder and turns her back to face him. “He won’t hurt me. Dirk won’t let him get close enough.” He turns to me, a hopeful look in his eyes. “Right?”

Nodding, I remind him, “I promised to protect you didn’t I?” I ruffle his hair. “I intend to keep that promise, kid. How about you stick with Fefeta and Erisol for now, though. Okay?” When he nods, I make my way over to Jake and Roxy. “What’s the plan?”

“Jake and Janey are going to flank him on either side,” Roxy points to the area in front of and behind the clown. Then she points to a spot beside him, “You’ll block the exit off the balloon. I’m staying up here with Erisol, covering any other potential exit. That clown’s not getting out of here alive.”

Jake quickly moves a little way down the roof, closer to his spot. When Roxy gives the signal, Jake and I flashstep into position. I draw my sword, drawing the clown’s attention. His eyes go wide and he turns to run in Jake’s direction. When Jake cocks his pistols, he flinches and turns back towards Jane, who has her battlefork out. Realizing that he’s cornered, he drops the brown potion he was trying to sell.

When the bottle breaks, the potion spilling everywhere, I hear a sharp gasp from the roof. Looking up, I see Arquius looking over the edge. All the color has drained from his already pale face. Within seconds, his horrified look turns to one of rage. He flies off the roof and tackles the clown to the ground.

“He was your mate!” he snaps, tears forming in his angry eyes. “And you’re selling his blood?! What did you do to Tavros?!” For once the clown looks shocked. And I feel about as surprised as he looks. I’ve never seen Arquius this angry. When he doesn’t receive an answer, Arquius slams the clown’s head hard against the ground. “Answer me! What did you do to Tavros?!”

When Arquius wraps his hands around the clown’s throat, Erisol and Fefeta finally step in. They try to pry him away from his target. Nothing they do, not even Fefeta begging him to stop, gets him away from the clown. He’s too hellbent on killing him. The innocent look in Arquius’ eyes earlier flashes through my mind as the clown’s eyes start to roll back. Roxy always told me that the look in my eyes changed after my first kill.

Before I even know I’ve moved, I put a hand on Arquius’ shoulder and calmly say, “Red, stop.” His angry glare turns to me. “Stop,” I repeat, kneeling down to his level. It takes a moment before he seems to register what’s going on. He looks down to the clown, who’s passed out by now, and his eyes go wide. The second he lets go, I pull his shaking form into my arms. I look over to Jake as I stand, holding my terrified sprite. “Tie up the clown and take him in the house.”

“Where are you going?” Roxy calls as I start to walk away.

“I need to get Arquius away from here for a bit,” I call over my shoulder. “We’ll be back when he calms down.” I flashstep to the surface before she can protest.

“I-I’m sorry,” Arquius says in a small voice. He sounds scared and it breaks my heart. I don’t trust myself not to say the wrong thing, so I just keep walking in silence. And that seems to be fine until Arquius stops trembling. He looks down to his hands and asks, “Are you mad at me?”

Shaking my head, I reply, “God no, Red. I’m worried about you. I’ve never seen you get like that before. What the hell happened?”

“The stuff in the bottle wasn’t a potion,” he says sadly. “It was Tavros’ blood. He was Gamzee’s matesprit.” He tries to wipe away his tears, but they just keep rolling down his cheeks. “How could he do something like that?! He was always so protective of Tavros and Tavros was always so nice to everyone. I just don’t understand.”


	8. Visions

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

I don’t remember the last time I was as nervous as I am making my way up these stairs. About halfway to the top, I start to hear gunshots. Karkat did say that he would most likely be shooting, I just didn’t think he’d be the type to use guns. By the time I reach the top, he’s stopped shooting. He’s loading a set of pistols with his back to me.

“Hey, Kankri,” I greet. “Can we talk?”

Instead of responding, he levels his guns with a target and starts shooting. When he stops, I put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, assuming he has earplugs in. He immediately spins around, a small knife appearing in his hand. He presses the knife against my throat hard enough to draw a few drops of blood. “Stop touching me,” he growls before the knife disappears and he turns his attention back to his guns. “I don’t want you in my mind and you can’t control your powers yet.”

“Then teach me.” He glares at me and just starts reloading again. “You don’t like me very much, do you?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Why?”

He turns to face me, anger in his eyes, and shouts, “Because you had the ONLY thing I ever wanted! You had a Guardian that didn’t beat and molest you every day of your life! I DID! Dolorosa loved you as if you were her own flesh and blood, and I wanted that! I didn’t get that until a week before we entered our session! A month after my mate walked in on Samael raping me! The ONLY good things that came from my youth were Cronus and Meenah. They were the ONLY ones Samael allowed to visit me and Cronus visited me every night.” He turns back to loading his gun before saying in a quieter tone, “He’s the only reason I didn’t kill myself a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

“That’s because I never wanted you to know. I didn’t want anyone to know,” he stops loading the gun long enough to remove the sleeves covering his forearms, revealing more scars than I care to count. “The only other person alive who knows about these is Cronus, and that’s because he convinced me to stop.”

Without thinking, I reach out and take his hand to examine the scars.

_‘Careful there, Chief,’ Cronus says as he adjusts Kankri’s grip on the handle of the gun. ‘Hold it like that or the slide’s going to clip your hand.’_

_‘Like this?’ Kankri asks, his grip loose._

_‘A little tighter.’ He smiles when Kankri holds the gun properly. ‘There you go. Now aim like this.’ He demonstrates how to aim before checking Kankri’s stance. ‘Don’t freak out on me. I’m going to adjust your stance. Is that okay?’ When Kankri nods, Cronus easily moves his arms to be a little higher and his feet a little farther apart. ‘Now take a deep breath, keep your eyes on the target, and pull the trigger.’_

_One loud bang later and there’s a hole in the corner of the target. ‘I missed,’ Kankri says, sounding a little disappointed._

_‘You did better than I did my first try. I broke a window on the neighbor’s hive,’ Cronus laughs. When Kankri pouts at him, he pulls him close and kisses him softly. ‘We can work on your aim. Okay?’_

The vision ends with Kankri smiling as he turns back to the target. He yanks his hand away and finishes loading his pistol. “You looked happy,” I say, trying to get him in a better mood.

Instead, he hands me the gun and says, “Shoot.” When I don’t move to take the weapon, he puts the gun in my hand and moves out of the way. “Shoot or leave.”

I mimic the position Cronus had shown Kankri in the vision and pulled the trigger. The recoil hurts a little, but I unload the entire clip. Each shot gets closer to the middle of the target. Once that pistol’s empty, he hands me the other one. Every shot from the second pistol hits dead center. While I unload that gun, he moves to stand by the door. The sound of something metallic behind me catches my attention. I turn just in time to see Kankri throw that little knife at me. Somehow, I manage to catch it just before it hits me. I spin around and throw it at the target, once again hitting dead center.

He finally cracks a small smile as he makes his way over to the target to retrieve his knife. “With that one memory, you’ve learned enough to do this,” he states as he brings our targets closer. His has a single hole where he kept hitting the same place. Mine has a line of small holes leading directly to a large hole. “I can teach you how to shoot with lethal accuracy, but I can’t teach you how to control your Seer powers. Terezi would be best for that as the Seer of Mind. I still accidentally catch glimpses sometimes. As for the powers you inherited from our blood caste, Psiioniic would be a better teacher than me. Caste powers are far more difficult to master than player powers and he’s been using his for his entire life.”

“I can’t ask him to do that. He never had a choice on whether or not to use his psionics.”

“Of course you can. The worst he can do is say no. Before his accident, Mituna helped me learn to control my powers.”

“But Mituna was never a slave. Psii was for eight sweeps.”

“And how long has he been free?”

“A few months. He was hatched into slavery and would have died one if Equius and his friends not gotten us off Alternia.”

He hums in contemplation for a moment. “I thought you had freed him sooner. Still, there’s no way he would say no to you.” I look at him, thoroughly confused. “You really do have a lot to learn. When he’s with you, he’s completely calm. Right now, I can feel his anxiety from here. He’ll jump at any opportunity just to be close to you. And that’s never going to change.”

“I should go check on him.”

“Yes, you should.” As I start towards the door, Kankri tosses a red button up shirt to me. “I meant to give you this earlier. I doubt Psiioniic is very happy that you two match,” he says, gesturing to the whiplashes on my back. I had forgotten about most of Psii’s scars. His oldest ones are whiplashes. There are maybe a few dozen, most likely meant to beat obedience into him when he was young. And Kankri’s right, he’s not happy about my injuries. I should also check on Sollux at some point.

I’m almost to the bottom of the stairs before I even realize it. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost ran into the door. Quickly putting on the shirt, I push open the door and attempt to navigate my way to Sollux’s room.

**_~On LOCAH~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

By the time I found one of the benches along this path, Arquius had fallen asleep in my arms. Not wanting to wake him, I just laid him down on the bench. That was a few hours ago. I don’t blame him for being so tired, it’s been a stressful day and he doesn’t usually sleep very well, if at all. When I look up from my exhausted sprite, I see Erisol floating down the trail.

I wave at him quickly before giving him a sign to be quiet and pointing to Arquius. He seems to be relieved to see that his brother is okay. “I think this is the longest he’s slept in a while,” I whisper.

Erisol nods as he sits on the ground next to me. He silently watches Arquius sleep for what seems like forever before finally saying, “I don’t like him being your sprite.”

“Neither do I,” I respond, slightly confusing the green sprite. “He deserves better, but he’s stuck with me. That’s not fair to him.”

“No, it’s not.” He goes quiet again. The silence doesn’t last nearly as long before he turns to me, a look of hatred in his eyes. “I saw the bruise on his cheek. Why did you hit him?”

I can’t seem to look Erisol in the eye. “He was having a nightmare and everything else I tried didn’t work. I panicked when he wasn’t waking up.” I pause, finally managing to look up into his hate filled eyes instead of down at my lap. “You didn’t hear him. He sounded so scared. I couldn’t let him stay like that. I’m a monster of a human being, but I’m not so horrible that I’d let someone I care about suffer.” My gaze wander’s back to the peaceful face of my sleeping sprite. “At least, I like to think I’m not.”

Erisol huffs before handing me a spirograph pendant. “I’m only supposed to give Jake one of these, but your session’s fucked already and he never calls on me.” When I take the pendant, he runs his fingers through Arquius’ hair. “The next time he has a nightmare, call me. I was made from a piece of Sollux that already learned how to take care of him. He might have appeared to calm down but hitting him only made it worse.” Before I can ask him to clarify, he whispers something to Arquius too quietly for me to hear.

Arquius looks confused when his eyes flutter open. “Where are we?” he asks, rubbing away sleep as he sits up.

“Somewhere on LOCAH,” Erisol answers as he rises from the ground. “Jake sent me to find you two. Gamzee’s refusing to talk to anyone. Roxy was hoping he’d talk to you. And I wanted to talk to Dirk.”

Arquius’ hand moves to lightly touch his cheek before he says, “He wasn’t trying to hurt me.”

“I know.”

“He really is trying to be better.”

“Equius, I’m not convinced he _can_ be better.” Instead of arguing, Arquius just pouts at his brother. “Come on, everyone’s waiting for us back at the house.”

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

It’s harder to navigate the halls of the meteor than I thought it would be. Every hall looks the same to me and very few of the rooms are labeled. I would have walked right past Sollux’s room had it not been for the door being open already. I’m not quite sure what I expected his room to look like, but only about half of this room looks like it belongs to Sollux. The technology and bee-related décor seems to be spot on for the young gemini. The pirate theme the rest of the room seems to have makes no sense, though.

At least it made no sense until I saw the sleeping sea-dweller with their head rested on Sollux’s lap. That must be Eridan, Sollux’s matesprit. Equius hasn’t told me much about them other than that their ancestor was an Orphaner. Although, I could have sworn Equius told me that Eridan was male.

“Don’t let the skirt fool you,” Terezi says from the next door down. “He started wearing more feminine outfits when we left our Alternia. That’s about when he and Sollux started being more open about their shared quadrants.”

“Was that ever an issue?”

“Back on Alternia, they had to hide their relationship because everyone expected Eridan and Feferi to wax flush for each other. Nobody cared that she was already a horrible moirail to him or the fact that he and Sollux vacillate between pitch and flush so frequently that sometimes _they_ don’t even know which quadrant they’re in.”

“We stopped labeling our relationship a long time ago, TZ,” Sollux laughs. “What’s the point in labeling something that can change so fast?”

“And I wasn’t a horribubble moirail!” Feferi snaps.

Sollux laughs again. “You dumped him for being ‘high maintenance’ right before we entered our session.”

“He was, though.”

Sollux turns his blind gaze back towards her, brows furrowed in anger. “No, Fef, he wasn’t. He was so severely depressed that I’ve long since stopped counting how many times _I’ve_ walked in on him trying to commit suicide. He went to you for the emotional support a half-way decent moirail should provide and you called him dramatic in about a thousand different ways.”

By now, he’s so angry that sparks are bouncing between his horns. Knowing that him using his powers in the state he’s in right now could be lethal, I move across the room to sit on the bed next to him. I place a gentle hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him.

_Sollux walks through a large hole in the side of a ship, a couple of bags of food floating on his psionics behind him. ‘Hey, ED,’ he calls. ‘I stopped by the market on my way here.’ He makes his way through the ship to a small kitchen and starts putting away the food he had brought. ‘I had noticed you were running low on some stuff yesterday and figured you wouldn’t bother restocking until your cabinets were empty, as usual.’_

_Once he’s done putting the stuff away, he looks around. The look in his two-toned eyes is one of confusion and worry. ‘ED?’ he calls again as he ventures deeper into the vessel. When he finally makes it to a respite block, he sighs. ‘ED, it’s almost midnight. Why are you still asleep?’_

_The room’s so dark I can barely see anything, but Sollux’s eyes glow bright enough to illuminate a grey lump on top of a pile of purple and yellow blankets. Sollux smiles a little before he takes a step into the dark room. That step lands in something wet; a small puddle of something thicker than water. His hand searches the closest wall until it finds the light switch. It takes a moment for Sollux to register what he’s seeing once his eyes adjust to the new level of brightness._

_Then he screams at the sight before him. There isn’t an inch of that room that isn’t splattered with violet blood. Random pieces of fins are strewn all across the floor. The grey lump is now clearly Eridan stripped of his fins. He’s loosely holding a bloody knife in his hand. The yellow and purple blankets are now clearly just yellow blankets stained purple by the dying boy’s blood._

_Sollux rushes to assess the damage. There isn’t a single fin left on the young sea-dweller. Blood is slowly flowing from each of the fresh amputations. ‘Eridan?’ Sollux calls as he kneels beside his injured mate. His panic only slightly subsides when Eridan’s eyes open weakly. ‘There you are,’ he says quietly as his psionics manifest as patches over the wounds, further slowing the bleeding. ‘You’re going to be okay. I’ve got you; you’re going to be okay.’_

He gathers Eridan in his arms as the vision fades. “So that’s why Kankri was mad at you,” Sollux mumbles, running his fingers through Eridan’s hair. “Welcome to the game. Something to keep in mind, most of us don’t want _you,_ specifically, in our heads. Don’t take that the wrong way, though. For me and KK, it’s because we don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Most of us idolize you more than our own ancestors,” Terezi says.

Feferi nervously plays with her bracelets, adding, “Especially us highbloods. Our ancestors were absolutely horribubble! But you were nice and fair to everyone. That’s why Aradia took Equius to you instead of Darkleer. She knew you would take care of him.” She glances over to a very confused Eridan and her nervousness almost immediately shifts to her usual bubbly demeanor. “Good evening, sleepy guppy.”

“W-where are my glasses?” he mumbles, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.


	9. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains self-harm and may be highly triggering. If you can't handle such content, please skip to "~On the Meteor~".

**_~On LOCAH~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

The walk back to Jane’s house was quiet. Erisol and Arquius floated a little ways ahead of me, talking in hushed tones. I can’t help but feel as if they were talking about me with how often Erisol shot dirty looks my way.

When we got back to the house, the living room had been turned into an interrogation room. Every piece of furniture has been pushed against the wall, save the chair the clown is tied to. I almost feel bad for him when I spot the bruises on his neck. Then I remember that he mixed a piece of my twisted mind with Equius and my hatred for this creep returns full force. He deserved what he got.

My attention is pulled from the clown by a nearly painful squeeze of my hand. Arquius is scared. I squeeze back, just to let him know that I’m here. That he’s not alone. He lets go of my hand and hides behind me when the clown locks eyes with him.

“I’m sorry, Equius,” he says. He sounds genuine and slightly broken, but I don’t trust this son of a bitch as far as I can throw him. Judging by the fact that Arquius is still hiding behind me, his forehead pressed to the back of my shoulder, I’d say he doesn’t believe him either. “I-I was angry and I lost control. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I feel Arquius shaking behind me. I can’t tell if he’s scared or pissed, but he’s shaking enough for Erisol to take notice from his spot beside Fefeta, across the room. “You didn’t mean to ‘hurt’ me?” Arquius snaps. He sounds like he’s holding back tears. “Do you even _remember_ what you did to me?!” He slips out from his hiding spot, but still stays close enough that he can hold onto my wrist. “Or were you too _high_ to hear me _begging_ you to stop the _few_ _seconds_ you let me breath?!”

The clown looks shocked and confused. Arquius, on the other hand, has lost his fight with the bright red tears racing down his cheeks. I don’t know if I should leave him alone or get him out of here. I settle on pulling him into my arms, trying to shield him from the now silent clown. It must have been the right decision because I see Erisol nod his approval from the corner of my eye. Arquius just cries, hiding his tears against my shoulder.

“I want to go home,” he mumbles.

Nodding, I say, “Okay, Red. We can go home.”

I keep myself between him and the clown as we make our way to the exit, motioning for Erisol to follow as we pass him. He silently accompanies us to the portal to my planet and the three of us leave without a word to the others.

**_~On LOTAK~_ **

Arquius doesn’t talk to either of us for a few hours after we arrive back on LOTAK. He doesn’t even greet Hal when he passes him on his way to our room. Erisol advised me to give him some space to calm down. So now I’m sitting in the living room with a concerned sprite and a distracted android.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t go check on him?” I ask Erisol.

He gives me a look, like I’m being tested or something. “Do you think he needs to be checked on?”

“That’s a yes.” I check on Hal before I leave. He’s playing with a few of his favorite plushies beside the couch. He doesn’t even acknowledge my presence when I let him know that I’ll be right back. I have no idea why, but a sense of dread settles over me just before I reach the door to my room. Any chance of me knocking flies out the window when worst case scenarios cross my mind.

Something is VERY wrong.

Throwing open the door, my fears are realized. There is blood everywhere and lying in a pool of it on the floor is my sprite. He’s holding one of my kunai and a blood-soaked towel. My guess is that he tried to stop the bleeding but passed out before he could. I scream for Erisol as I rush to his side. He’s so cold, but I can still feel a faint pulse. Luckily, he only cut one arm. Erisol arrives as I’m turning my belt into a tourniquet, just above his elbow. The green sprite is just as horrified as I am at seeing his brother bleeding so much. He immediately springs into action, summoning gauze pads and bandages out of nowhere, probably Jake’s captchadeck.

The next few minutes are a blur as we work to stop the bleeding. When Erisol shoos me away so he can finish bandaging Arquius’ arm, I go through the entire apartment, gathering every weapon and sharp object in a box. From katanas to kitchen knives, everything is now in this container. Erisol is working on cleaning up the blood when I return with the dangerous stuff.

“What’s all that?”

“Every sharp thing that I own,” I set the box down on my desk. “Everything, except my main weapon.”

Erisol’s already pale complexion turns even paler as he inquires, “You think he’d try again? Equius would never-”

“I don’t know what Equius would do!” I snap back before checking my tone and taking a deep breath. “I only know that, if something pushed me far enough to try once, I’d try again and again until it finally worked. We can’t keep treating him like he’s entirely Equius because he’s not. Half of him is a warped version of my own mind. In situations like this, we need to take into consideration what I would do, too. And I would try again.”

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Equius’ POV~_ **

I wake up to Karkat yelling, which wasn’t out of the ordinary. Nepeta’s playing with my hair and I’m still tired, so I don’t put forth any effort to figure out what’s going on. I glance up when I hear Signless tell someone to stop talking and that they usually get into trouble. Dyrrin’s watching him walk away the same way that Dave does when he watches Karkat. I don’t think Meenah notices as she heals a cut on his neck. At least, she doesn’t give any indication that she did.

A feeling of hatred towards this man rises in the back of my mind. I feel static in the air and look over to Psiioniic. He has a very threatening death glare trained on Dyrrin. Considering who he was staring at, I wouldn’t doubt he was imagining all the ways he could kill the indigo.

The second the cut on his neck is healed, Meenah roughly shoves Dyrrin into the chair he had been tied to before I fell asleep. Looking almost as pissed as Psiioniic, she hisses, “I saw the look you gave Signless. Look at him like that again and I will personally rip off your bulge and strangle you with it. Understand?”

“I’d love to see you try,” he taunts.

From across the room, my dancestor calls, “Meenah, I highly doubt Signless would be overly thrilled by you killing a man he _just_ asked you to heal.”

She grumbles something I don’t quite catch from this distance before marching off, not even bothering to retie her prisoner in her anger. The second she’s too far away to intervene, he gets up and unties Samael. Without thinking, I teleport in front of the caprittanius.

“Sit down,” I demand, sounding more menacing than I intended. I even scare myself for a second, before I remember what this man, and an alternate version of him, has done.

“You don’t scare me, kid,” he laughs.

“Don’t call me ‘kid’.” His laugh quickly turns to choking noises when I close my fist. I telekinetically choke him until he drops to his knees. When I finally release him, he’s gasping for breath and looking up at me in complete terror. “And you should be _very_ afraid of me.” I point to the chair he was just tied to. “Sit. Now.” He quickly moves to sit in the chair, and I go to check on Psiioniic. “Are you okay?” I ask.

He laughs nervously. “You can be pretty scary when you want to be.”

“Please don’t tell Signless.”

“As long as I get to call you ‘kid’ from now on.”

“Deal.” I glance back to Samael to make sure he’s still in his chair. When I look back to Psiioniic, I can see the fear in his eyes that he’s trying to hide. “Are you sure you’re okay? There are a few rooms with working locks that I could move them to. They’d be secure. You and Signless would be safe.”

He ruffles my hair and laughs a little. “I’m okay, kid. And, besides, it’s not my Samael. He just looks like him.”

“He’s worse,” Cronus states from the closest door. “He’ll probably avoid you though. My version of you gave him a reason to fear geminis when we caught him abusing Kan.”

“HE FUCKING DESERVED IT!” Mituna shouts from the group of dancestors crowded around a card game in the far corner. “Hurt Kankri and get zapped, fucker.” When he sparks to emphasize his point, he winces. The capricorn beside him makes a few hand gestures, a worried look on his face. “I’m okay.”

“What-” I start.

“Sign language. Meulin’s deaf and Kurloz’s mouth is sewn shut. We all learned it so that we didn’t have to text to talk to them. And Mituna almost completely burned himself out just before we entered our session; in case you were wondering about why his psionics hurt him. He manages the side effects with mind honey. I’d say he has about another hour before he comes all the way back down.”

Mind honey is for gold bloods what slime is for purple bloods. I feel the panic take hold as I ask, “H-he-he’s high?” Not even Psiioniic placing a hand on my shoulder seems to calm me down. I know that I’ve turned invisible, a glance down at myself confirms it. I can’t stop staring at Mituna, a part of me waiting for him to attack.

“Go find Signless,” Psiioniic orders a very confused Cronus. The seadweller doesn’t ask questions, just runs back out the door to search for my guardian. I’m trying to force myself to become visible again, flickering every few seconds. “Equius,” Psiioniic says, “look at me, kid.” I manage to look away from Mituna and towards Psiioniic. “You’re safe. Nobody here’s going to hurt you.”

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

“Is Signless in there?” Cronus asks Terezi, completely out of breath, before actually checking the room. “Your kid’s freaking out.”

I’ve never moved so fast in my life. On the way through the confusing halls of the meteor I get all the information that I need, mainly what triggered Equius. Someone’s high. That’s one of his main triggers. Cronus informs me that Psii was trying to calm him when he had come looking for me. By the time we finally reach the computer lab, a few of the dancestors have moved closer to Equius, most likely trying to calm him down. We walk through the door just in time to see Equius put a desk between himself and the small crowd.

“Equius,” I call as I approach. No response. I can feel his fear. A part of me wonders if this is one of the abilities Kankri told me about or if it’s a side effect of Terezi linking our minds earlier. The rest of me just breaks getting a taste of the pure terror my child has lived with for more than a third of a sweep. Focusing on things that I know comfort Equius – hoof beasts, Nepeta, robotics, and cuddling with me – I carefully move closer to the desk he’s hiding behind. “Hey, Equius, it’s me,” I say as I walk around the desk and kneel a few feet away from my flickering child. He wordlessly scrambles into my open arms, nearly knocking me over in the process.

Psii’s alternate, Mituna, leans over the desk, asking, “Is he okay?”

Equius’ fear spikes and he tries to get closer to me.

“You’re the one that’s high.” Mituna nods. “Okay. I’m sure you don’t mean any harm, but you’re making matters worse. Drug use is one of his main triggers. Please, back up.”

Without question, Mituna and most of the group move several feet away from the makeshift barrier Equius has turned the desk into. The only person other than Psii that didn’t retreat is a boy that looks so strikingly similar to Darkleer that, if not for this boy being visibly younger than the executioner, I would confuse him for the same person. He stays silent, but close, with a look of concern on his face.

I shift my undivided attention back to Equius as I run my fingers through his hair and assure him that he’s safe. Even clinging to me, his eyes dart around the room, searching for some unseen danger. It’s almost like he doesn’t even realize that I’m here. He hasn’t had an attack this bad in months, not even when the Grand Highblood ran into him on Alternia. I try every trick I’ve learned over the past year to calm him. Nothing is working. Tears start to form in my eyes when a feeling of hopelessness settles over my mind. Then I remember how Latula had helped in the dream bubble.

“Equius,” he glances up at me for a split second when I call his name. “Hey, sweet boy, can you show me somewhere you feel safe?”

“Engine room,” he whispers before teleporting all four of us to a different part of the meteor.

Psii goes pale when he sees the engine. About ten different emotions cross his face, ranging from terror to disgust, before finally settling on begrudging acceptance mixed with determination. I can tell that he wants to run as fast as he can away from the machine, but he seems determined to stay close for Equius’ sake. They’re close, so it’s understandable that he’d want to be there for him, but I’m just as worried about him triggering a flashback as I am about Equius’ current panic attack. I’m about to give him a pass to leave when he shakes his head, silently making it clear that he was not leaving.

The Darkleer look-a-like, on the other hand, looks like he’s in heaven. He must enjoy mechanics as much as Equius does. Since Equius seems to have calmed down a bit, I keep an eye on the other sagittarius as he inspects the equipment. Psii is coaching Equius through one of their breathing exercises when the other indigo inquires, “What’s this?”

When Equius glances in his direction, his brief sense of calm quickly shifts to a level of annoyance I’ve only ever witnessed from Disciple when someone messes with her journals. “Don’t touch that,” he snaps, teleporting over to his dancestor. He snatches the small machine from him and handles it like the most fragile thing in existence as he delicately returns it to a well-organized worktable. “Do you have any idea how difficult it’s been to make all of these parts?! Do. Not. TOUCH!”

“Okay, okay. I didn’t know.” He looks around again. “So, what’s so special about this place?”

Equius looks a bit sheepish as he explains, “The meteor is supposed to be able to be piloted like any other ship. This is the engine, Aradia found it a few weeks ago. Unlike the rest of the tech around here, the engine is Alternian biotech.” He looks over to Psii. “I’ve been trying to make it fully mechanical so that nobody has to be plugged in for it to work.” He looks down to his hands nervously gripping the hem of his shirt. “I never cared much for biotech. It’s barbaric and simply unnecessary, especially when there are so many effective _cruelty-free_ energy sources to choose from.” His nervousness shifts to anger as he says, “Biotech is just a way for the highbloods to control a perceived threat to their self-appointed superiority.”


	10. Flashbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions and a description of self harm. Please take this into consideration when reading this chapter. If such content triggers you, please don't read the portion that is Dirk's POV. Thank you and enjoy.

**_~On the Meteor~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

It had been a few weeks since Equius had shown us the meteor’s engine. Since then, he and Psii have been working on it every chance they get. Sometimes Horrus or Sollux would try to work on it with them, but they would be shooed away. It’s always impressive watching how easily they work together.

“You know, you three are more like a human family than most human families,” Dave comments, an amused look on his face. I hadn’t even noticed him approach. My face must display my confusion because he quickly clarifies. “On Earth, fixing old cars and stuff was a common father-son bonding activity. This is sort of like that.”

“Is that something you and your father did?”

I instantly regret asking when his expression shifts to one of sadness and longing. “I only had my brother.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

He puts on his usual cool kid smile, which I’m starting to believe is only a mask, and says, “Don’t worry about it. I’ve survived in this game as long as I have because of him. Rose says he was abusive and neglectful, but I think he was just trying to prepare me for the game. He’s a heart player in the other timeline.” Something catches his attention in the engine room and he pulls me out of the doorway a second before a loud bam rattles the walls, sending screws and small pieces of machinery flying.

“Oh, come on!” Equius shouts in frustration. Psii just curses a few times. This is the tenth time they’ve tried to attach this particular, final, modification. It’s blown up every time.

Peeking past the doorframe, I inquire, “You guys okay?” I only receive annoyed glares in response.

Laughing, Dave says, “We should probably leave them alone for a bit. Wanna go see what Kitkat’s up to?”

As we search for my descendant, he tells me what it was like growing up on Earth. I can see how Rose came to her conclusion about Dave’s brother. From the daily attacks to the lack of healthy food, I’m starting to wonder how this human has survived for fourteen, almost fifteen, years. He talks about how his brother started to “teach” him to fight the second he was old enough to hold a knife. In a way, he seems to be fond of these memories.

In an attempt to understand, I ask, “Would it be alright if I saw one of these memories?”

His face lights up in joy and offers his hand. The usual dizzying blur takes over my vision when I take his hand.

_“Okay, kiddo,” a human who looks to be about my age says. “Hold this.” A significantly younger girl waves a very sharp knife around like a rattle. “Hey, ya’ little warrior, be careful with that.” Being a toddler, she keeps swinging the knife around until she accidentally cuts her chin with the sharp blade. Her brother just sighs as he picks up the crying child, “Suck it up kid. If ya’ keep treating weapons like toys, you’re going to get hurt. You’ll learn.”_

_The vision blurs into another memory. Dave looks like he’s about three sweeps old. He’s doubled over on the roof of a tall building, coughing up blood. He has a few cuts and bruises. “Get up!” his brother shouts from a little way away. He tries to push himself up but falls back to the gravel covered roof. “Get up or get kicked, kid.” He manages to push himself up on his hands and knees before dropping again, only to be kicked hard in the side. The blow is hard enough to break a rib or two, if the loud crack is anything to go by. “C’mon little lady. If this were a real fight, you’d already be dead!” This gives Dave enough motivation to roll towards a sword a few feet away. He’s shaky as he uses the weapon to push himself up and finally make it back on his feet. “You’re slow.”_

_“Come on, Bro,” Dave snaps back, steadying his stance and raising his sword. “I’m_ nine _! You have sixteen years on me. I can’t keep up. And I’m not a girl anymore!”_

 _A look I can’t quite describe crosses his brother’s face. “Sorry, kid. I’m still getting used to having a brother and not a sister. And what I’m teaching you could save your sorry ass one day, little_ dude _. If someone really wanted to kill you, you’d be dead the way you’re fighting.”_

_“Who the hell’s going to try and kill a kid?!”_

_His brother cracks a smile, “There’s a lot of creeps out there, Dave. I just want you to be able to defend yourself. Now, let’s run this one more time, then we’ll get pizza. Okay?”_

_The memory seamlessly bleeds into the next one as Dave and his brother run towards each other, weapons ready. When their blades collide, they’re a little older. It looks like Dave’s about as old as he is now. Dave has many more scars, a few different bruises, and a lot more skill. With their swords locked, Dave brings his knee up into his brother’s gut. The second he spots an opening, his brother is disarmed and pushed down._

_“I win,” Dave announces as he sits on his brother’s chest and holds his blade to his throat._

_“Very good, little man,” he laughs. “It took you fourteen years, but you finally won.” He reaches up and ruffles Dave’s hair. “I’m proud of you.”_

The vision blurs back to the hall of the meteor. Dave looks both happy and sad at reliving those memories. “So that’s how you got so many scars,” I say, still trying to wrap my head around what I just saw; and avoid the most likely sensitive topic of the gender change.

“He didn’t think I’d learn anything with practice weapons,” he explains. “And he was right. I learned and survived. And not all of these scars are from him. Some are from bullies at school. Some are from the imps. A few are from Kitkat.”

“And that is more information than I needed.” He seems confused before realizing what he said and starts laughing. Shaking my head, I question, “You don’t see anything wrong with how you grew up? I thought humans were protective of their young. That didn’t seem protective.”

He groans in annoyance. “You’re starting to sound like Rose. We don’t know how much players remember after a scratch, if anything. He always said that he wanted me to learn to protect myself from anyone who wanted me dead.” He starts to look a bit on edge as he continues, “I’ve seen myself die enough to understand what he meant.”

“Residents of the meteor,” Aradia calls over the intercom, “we’ll be passing through a dream bubble in approximately ten minutes.”

**_~On LOCAH~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

It’s been three days since Arquius cut himself. He’s been unconscious this entire time. I sent Hal to stay with the girls until I could handle the situation with him. Erisol stopped by earlier to check on his brother but left when he saw no change after an hour. I can tell he’s worried even though he barely ever talks to me.

I’m carefully wrapping a fresh bandage around his wrist when he finally starts to wake up. A quick glance confirms my assumption. I wait until I’ve finished my task before turning to him. “Do you want to talk?” He stays silent, refusing to look at me. “I’m not mad at you. I just want to know why.”

That’s when the tears start. I hate seeing him cry, so I pull him into my arms and try to comfort him. “He didn’t even remember,” he mumbled against my chest.

I can’t even imagine what he’s going through. Yes, I have trauma of my own, but I don’t have his kind of trauma. My entire life has been nothing but survival. I always bottled up my emotions until I exploded and found something to fight. I’m so emotionally detached from the world that I don’t know how to handle my distressed sprite. I offer to call Erisol, but he immediately begs me not to. He tries apologizing, but I shut that down as fast as I can. By the time he’s calmed down, he’s ready to talk.

“Have you cut before?”

Shaking his head, he says, “I’d never even thought about it.”

“Okay. It’s okay,” I assure before he starts crying again. “Next question. Did you want to die?” He doesn’t answer. “Red?”

“Please don’t hate me.”

“Hey. No. None of that.” I wipe away the tears trying to escape down his stained cheeks. “This is a behavior that you most likely got from me. I’m trying to help.” I make him look up at me. “Let me help.” Finally, he nods and I repeat, “Do you want to die?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“It’s okay not to know. Do you think this will happen again?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay. I’m going to help you make sure this doesn’t happen again. I need you to understand that this is NOT a punishment. You’re not in trouble. I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“How?”

“To start, I’ve collected every sharp object I could find from the apartment. It’s all in a box in my captalog. I fully trust the part of you that came from Equius. I don’t trust the part of you that came from me. I’m going to check your arms for cuts once a week from now on, too. Like I said, this is not a punishment; I just don’t want you to get hurt. Do you understand?”

He looks a little unsettled about the arm check, but nods. “What if it happens again? I don’t think it will, but I-”

“Don’t worry about it, Red. I know from experience how hard it is to stop once you start.” His expression turns to one of confusion. “I used to cut until Roxy found out and knocked some sense into me. I promise I’ll be nicer than she was.” He smiles a little when I tuck a stray lock of red hair behind his ear. “If it happens again, don’t try to hide it. Just come to me and I’ll patch you up every time. I promise.” The room falls silent again for a few minutes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He shakes his head, snuggling closer to me. “It just felt like he was attacking me all over again. The flashbacks were too much. I just wanted it to stop. I don’t even know what made me pick up the knife in the first place.”

Memories of the first time I cut flash across my mind. _A drone attack had severely weakened one of the stilts holding up my home. While welding some sheets of metal in an admittedly poor attempt to repair the damage, I sliced my hand open on a jagged edge. All the pent-up frustration at being attacked so often left my mind the second I registered the pain. When I’m done with the repair, I take one of my knives to my bathroom. Sitting on the edge of the tub, I stare at the blade deciding whether or not I should test my theory. I don’t even know how long I sat there, but I eventually lifted my shirt and dragged the knife across my stomach. Like before, the pain chases everything else from my mind. I did it a few more times before deciding I’d had enough for the day and started cleaning up. Before I knew it, cutting had become my main form of coping with the turmoil that was my own fucking brain. It took three years for Roxy to notice and another seven months for her to break my habit._

“Yeah, that’s about how it goes,” I say before kissing the top of his head. “You’ll be okay, though.”

“What helped you stop?”

I laugh nervously. “Uh. Roxy strip searched me and hid my knives for about half a year. She’s a bit overbearing when she’s pissed.” He goes a little pale. Realizing what I had said, and how he probably took it, I immediately shift to damage control mode. “That’s not going to happen to you. She did that with me because she’s basically my sister and I trust her with my life. You have stricter boundaries than I did. I’ll do my best to respect those boundaries, but the arm checks are nonnegotiable.”

He takes a deep breath. “Arms are okay.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Erisol? He’s been worried about you.” After a moment of contemplation, he shakes his head. “If you insist. He’s going to be over tomorrow to check on you anyways.” He just shrugs. It’s quiet for a few more minutes. “You hungry? I can make grilled cheese.”


	11. Comfort

**_~On LOPAN~_ **

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

The clown was moved to LOPAN while I was taking care of Arquius. Nobody told me until I informed everyone that he had woken up. Despite how horribly it went the last time they were in the same room, Arquius wants to talk to him.

So now we’re in Roxy’s living room while she retrieves our captive. He’s spent the last week chained up in one of the vaults in the pyramid a few miles from the house. Arquius looks like he’s starting to lose whatever courage he had when we arrived. Fefeta’s tried to distract him, but he told her to leave him alone. I’d never seen him send her away. He’s curled up on the end of the couch, hugging a pillow so tightly it looks like it’s going to pop.

When he starts picking at the bandage around his wrist, I move to kneel in front of him. “Arquius, look at me.” He barely looks over the pillow. “Are you absolutely positive you want to talk to this dude? We can leave right now. It’s your call.”

“I _need_ answers,” he manages to say without going over the edge into panic tears.

“Okay,” I assure, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Do you want me to call Erisol?” When he nods, I take the spirograph necklace out of my pocket and activate it. I’m shooed away the second the green sprite appears. As I turn to walk away, Arquius grabs my wrist. “It’s okay, Red. I’ll be right over there.” I point to the couch on the other side of the room. “Okay?”

He nods, releasing my wrist. I check my phone to see how far away Roxy and the clown are. When I look up, Erisol’s trying to calm him down. He’s having more success than I’ve ever had in calming him. I try to keep an eye on them and take mental notes. Erisol refuses to teach me how to care for him when he has one of his anxiety attacks. So far, all I’ve picked up on is that hugs and cuddles help. I know that he talks to him, but I don’t know what the magic words are.

I must have spaced out because the next thing I know Roxy’s walking through the door. She’s dragging the clown by a hot pink dog leash. The matching collar barely covers the hand shaped bruises on his neck. His hands are tied to the collar by an equally bright shade of pink rope. I guess Roxy was going for humiliation. The poor guy looks dehydrated, too, but I can’t bring myself to feel anything more than minor pity for him. When he looks over to Erisol and Arquius, his distant expression turns saddened.

“You don’t speak unless Arquius tells you to,” Roxy orders as she forces the thin boy to his knees. She looks to the sprites on the couch. “He says he remembers everything. Go ahead and ask your question.”

My sprite hesitates before asking, “Why?”

The clown looks to the floor, shame in his purple eyes. “I don’t know. I really didn’t mean to go so far. I swear. I was in rage mode and lost control.”

“What sent you into rage mode?”

He was silent for a moment, a look of contemplation on his face. “I was pissed. I don’t really remember why; I think it was something one of the humans sent me. When I went looking for Tav to try and get his help to chill out, I saw Vriska stab him. I just fucking snapped and ran. You were just the first one to find me.” He finally looks up, purple tears in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to take it out on you, I swear. I’m so sorry!”

“Why should he accept your apology?” Fefeta snaps, looking about ready to tear this guy to pieces.

“You look dehydrated,” Arquius comments, completely ignoring his friend’s outburst. He looks like he’s mentally only half here as he gets a glass of water from the kitchen. When he returns, he sits on the floor and holds the glass to the clown’s lips. When he glances to a very intimidating Roxy, Arquius orders, “Drink.”

“Do as he says,” she snaps, causing her captive and Arquius to both flinch.

“Hey,” I call to her. “Take it down several notches. Intimidating the clown is okay. Scaring my sprite is not.”

Arquius, now clearly as annoyed as he is scared, puts down the water and unties the clown’s hands. He then gives him the drink. “It’s just water. Drink.” He hesitates for a moment before turning his back to Roxy and downing the offered water faster than should be possible. Arquius looks worried before sending a distrustful glance towards Roxy.

When the clown puts the glass down, it’s like flipping a switch. The yellow of his eyes turns red and glows purple. He looks like he’s in a trance as he turns towards Arquius. “Sleep,” he whispers when Arquius’ eyes glow purple as well. When my sprite goes limp, I move to try and catch him. “Sleep,” the clown repeats, staring at me. Everyone in the room dropping like flies and the clown pulling my motionless sprite into his arms is the last thing I see before everything goes dark.

**_~In a Dream Bubble~_ **

**_~Signless’ POV~_ **

“Arquius?” I hear a familiar voice call as I open my eyes. A few feet away from me, Dirk, Dave’s brother’s alternate, is searching the balcony we and a few others woke up on. “ARQUIUS!” He sounds panicked.

Closer to me, Equius whines, “You can stop yelling.” He looks confused and annoyed as he sits up. “I’m right here.”

“I’m not looking for you, I’m looking for my sprite.”

On the other side of the balcony, Dave explains, almost confused, “Sprites don’t sleep unless they were made from pieces of living people. If it doesn’t sleep, it doesn’t show up in a dream bubble.” He almost gets hit in the head with a glass bottle of an indigo fluid. “The fuck is this?”

Dirk points at Equius. “A piece of him,” he snaps before running into the purple building attached to the gold balcony.

Equius, curiosity radiating off of him, takes the bottle from Dave and opens it. I can smell it from here. That’s not just blood. I haven’t smelled this substance since the night I met him. Equius goes pale. I feel his curiosity morph into a mix of rage and disgust as he replaces the cork on the jar. Dave and I silently follow him as he storms off in the same direction as Dirk. It doesn’t take him long to find the blonde human, grab him by the wrist, and drag him back the way he had come.

By the time he manages to track down Gamzee, our group has grown. Aradia, Kanaya, Psii, and Rufioh had started following us when their inquiries of what was going on went unanswered. The high blood is watching a movie with Vriska and Mituna in the computer lab.

“Sup slut,” Vriska greets, most likely hoping for the usual minor anxiety attack she triggers.

Instead, Equius just glares at her. He grabs the back of Gamzee’s chair and lifts it and him, dumping him on the floor. Holding up the bottle, he snaps, “Explain!”

Gamzee grins like a madman. “Explain fuckin’ what?” he laughs.

Rage flashes in my child’s indigo eyes a second before smashing the bottle against the side of the purple’s head. “Explain how a _sprite_ was made from a bottle of _my_ genetic material! What is _wrong_ with you?!”

“Wow, Equius,” Vriska laughs. “Now I know why Aradia never slept with you.” She turns to Mituna, who looks absolutely disgusted. “Poor guy can’t produce-” She screams when Equius stabs her eye with a pen he had grabbed off the desk.

Aside from Vriska’s pained screams, the room is silent. I’m too shocked to move. I know Equius is far from a pacifist, but I’ve never seen him actually try to hurt someone before. Psii looks between him and the bleeding cerulean. I can’t tell if he’s proud or concerned, probably both. The girls look unphased, most likely because they knew Equius long before I did and have seen him fight. Kanaya even summoned popcorn from her captalog.

After a moment that seems like forever, Rufioh snaps out of his trance like shock. He reaches for Equius’ arm and pulls him away from Vriska. Instead of the protest I expected, Equius allows the taurus to guide him out of the room. The second the door closes behind him, I feel his anger melt into shame and sorrow.

“You deserved that,” Aradia growls before rushing to check on her kismesis.

A few more seconds pass before Dirk turns on Gamzee. He has the boy pinned almost immediately, demanding to know where his sprite is. He only receives creepy laughter in response.

I didn’t bother to stick around after that. Equius is far more important to me than protecting the cause of his PTSD. It doesn’t take long to find him, as he didn’t make it farther than the hall outside the computer lab. There’s a fist sized dent in the metal wall beside the door. Equius is sitting on the floor, crying on Rufioh’s shoulder. Aradia’s kneeling next to him with a comforting hand rested on his back.

“Equius?” He glances up at me, looking more broken than when we first met. I drop to my knees in front of him and brush his hair out of his face. “Do you need a hug?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

He nods, moving to cling to me. I could never express how much I hate seeing him cry. Rufioh tries his best to help comfort him, but eventually goes silent. Aradia looks angry enough to kill when I glance over at her. She’s glaring at the door like she expects either Gamzee or Vriska to step out. I’m sure she’d attack anyone who stepped out that door faster than any of us would be able to register.

I try to ignore her and focus on Equius. He’s not having a panic attack. He’s just hurt, understandably so. I can’t completely sort out the sea of emotions I’m picking up on and it’s starting to give me a headache. The majority of these emotions are negative; shame, anger, hatred, and sadness being the most prominent ones.

Every fiber of my being wants to take all of these feelings from my child. I want to assure him that this is all just a dream, but that’s only partially true. This is a dream, but it’s all really happening. I feel helpless knowing that there’s nothing I can do to help him. I have so many tricks to snap him out of a panic attack, but nothing for normal emotions like this.

“What happened?” Horuss inquires from behind Aradia. He looks concerned, most likely assuming his dancestor is having an anxiety attack. Rufioh, in an attempt to not say what happened out loud, signs a quick explanation. Horuss, furious, growls, “I’m going to kill him.”

As he passes, Equius’ depressed emotions instantly shift to panic and he tries to grab his hand. When he misses by half an inch, he scrambles to get to his feet and follow the older sagittarius.

**_~Dirk’s POV~_ **

I’m trying to coax my frightened sprite from the dead end vent the clown had stashed him in. A troll that looks like he could have been Equius’ older brother marches through the door, murder in his eyes. Equius follows closely behind. He looks like he’s been crying, which wouldn’t surprise me considering the information he just received.

“Horuss!” Equius shouts. He’s clearly ignored as the older troll marches towards the clown. “Horuss, please,” he pleads as he grabs Horuss’ arm. He’s easily shaken off, which is surprising considering how strong Equius is. He runs to get in front of him, blocking his path to the clown. “Don’t hurt him. Please!” Horuss just picks up the smaller troll and moves him, immediately closing the short distance left between him and the clown. He summons a bow and arrow and takes aim. “STOP IT!” Equius screams, telekinetically slamming Horuss into the closest wall with a sickening crack on impact.

A winged troll flies to catch him before he hits the ground. “Horuss?” he calls, trying to wake him up. “C’mon, babe. Wake up.” Equius takes a step closer, most likely to make sure the older troll is okay. “No! You’ve done enough.”

“I-I’m sorry,” he says quietly, clearly on the verge of tears again. “I panicked. Is he okay?” He doesn’t get an answer as the winged troll gathers the older Zahhak in his arms and flies out a different door. A guy that looks sort of like an older version of Erisol, only in gold and not green, approaches Equius. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“I know, kid.” He wipes away Equius’ tears and makes him look up at him. “You’ve only had your powers for less than a sweep. You’re still learning. It’s not your fault.”

“Dirk?” Arquius quietly calls from his hiding spot. He looks more spooked than when my attention was drawn to the chaos in the middle of the room.

Smiling, I say, “Hey, Red. You ready to come down?” He nods. Helping him down, I ask, “Are you okay? Did that bastard hurt you?” Even though he shakes his head, I get the feeling he’s not telling me something. He keeps glancing over his shoulder like he expects someone to be standing there. “Talk to me, kiddo. What’s wrong?”

“I feel arms around me,” he whispers. It feels like my blood goes cold.

“What’s his other half?” Dave questions from a few computers down.

“My autoresponder.”

He chuckles a little. “Yeah, he’s still technically awake wherever he’s physically at. Like I said, inanimate doesn’t sleep. If it doesn’t sleep, it doesn’t come to a dream bubble.”

I’m more than a little confused. I’ve _seen_ him sleep. I’ve held him while he slept. Then, something clicks in my mind. When Hal “sleeps” he just shuts down enough for his batteries to recharge. His artificial subconscious takes over, giving him dreams. Arquius is a sprite, so he doesn’t need to charge. But my autoresponder did. He had a sleep setting to preserve his battery in between sending messages. It’s clear that Equius is Arquius’ dominant personality, but maybe the autoresponder takes over when Equius’ half needs to sleep. I’ve never tested if my autoresponder still works after having been turned into a sprite.

I take out my phone and test my theory.

_timaeusTestified: Yo, AR. Are you still online?_

_timaeusTestified: Of course, Dirk. Did you expect me to be destroyed when I became a sprite? There is an 85% chance that you expected me to be destroyed when I became a sprite, Dirk. Am I right?_

_timaeusTestified: Cut the crap. Are you still awake on LOPAN or are you in the dream bubble?_

_timaeusTestified: Obviously, I am still 50% conscious, Dirk._

_timaeusTestified: Is the clown touching Arquius? He says that he feels arms around him._

_timaeusTestified: Yes._

_timaeusTestified: What’s he doing to him?_

_timaeusTestified: Gamzee is rocking me. He is not doing any harm._

_timaeusTestified: If he does ANYTHING inappropriate, hurt him._

_timaeusTestified: Order confirmed. Is there anything else I can do for you, Dirk?_

_timaeusTestified: Just protect him like your life fucking depends on it._

_timaeusTestified: My life does depend on it, Dirk. He is 50% me. Did you forget that fact, Dirk?_

__


End file.
